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I’ve been feeling really stressed out lately. The combination of pet and house problems, plus a travel schedule that’s kindof bananas, plus living with a toddler, plus never sleeping enough, plus I don’t know there’s probably some other stuff on that list… has done a real number on me. So, I’ve been sewing. A lot. I go upstairs to my craft room, crank up some tunes (or a podcast), and then just lose myself in the creative process. It’s done wonders for my mental health.
How do I find the time to sew? Well, the combination of listening to the Note to Self Infomagical series after reading this post from my friend Vicki got me thinking about how much time I spend randomly scrolling through Facebook and Twitter. And so I gave myself a new mantra. “There is probably something better I could be doing with my time.” I still spend far too much time staring blankly at my phone, but I am so much better about it these days. I cleared out a bunch of RSS feeds that I wasn’t really enjoying anymore, deleted all the podcast subscriptions that were piling up, and have been making more of a conscious effort to put my phone down somewhere when I get home and then just leave it there. And now, I remind myself (again and again), “there is probably something better that I could be doing with my time.”
Lately, that something better has been to sew. Lilian goes to bed and I wander upstairs to spend the evening. The only problem? Sometimes I get so immersed in what I’m doing that I stay up way too late. Which is somewhat counter-productive (see: never sleeping enough). But! I still feel better than if I was spending my evenings watching TV. Plus, I managed to make some pretty things.
I am doing not one, but two quilt-alongs. I like the Crossroads Quilt Along, but new blocks only come out once a month. So, I decided to do the Splendid Sampler as well. I am way behind on the Splendid Sampler, but I have been just loving the blocks. I splurged and bought myself a bunch of orange and pink fabrics. I’m making this one for myself and it’s all about the prints that bring me joy. Lilian has been bitten by the sewing bug as well, so she and I have been making some things together. I am working on a quilt for her that just needs to be quilted and bound, but the hand-basting is taking me forever. I have another project that I’m working on as well, but that one is a present, so no pictures until it’s done!
My first four blocks for the Crossroads Quilt Along. I am using these awesome Scandinavian-inspired prints in pink and grey for this one. I had to re-do one of the blocks, because Lilian got her hands on it and cut it with her little scissors. I was steaming mad about that one, but it didn’t end up being too bad a fix. And it was a great lesson that Lilian can reach a lot farther than I thought!
This is block one from the Splendid Sampler. I used a decorative stitch from my sewing machine, which is something that I’ve been bad about doing. I’m trying to push myself out of my comfort zone. The decorative stitches are so much easier to use than I thought! I just have to remember to switch to my walking foot. I think I must have tried one with a regular foot and then convinced myself that I couldn’t handle them.
Here is block two! I didn’t like the busyness of that grey pattern, but it’s growing on me. I will probably sew all of the blocks together with a solid sashing, and then it won’t be too busy at all. One of the things that I really like about the Splendid Sampler is they give you the block designs, but also some suggestions on how to improve your technique. The idea is to learn a bunch of new ways to sew as you’re putting all of the blocks together. The tutorials that went with this one were really helpful. I think the corners came out much better than similar blocks that I’ve made in the past.
Here is block three. This one was harder than it looks! Lots of little corners to line up. I whiffed on one or two of them, but I don’t think it’s worth ripping out to re-do. This is the first block I made with a bunch of the new fabrics that I bought. They make me so happy!
And, finally, Lilian and I have been making some applique projects together.
This is a pretty genius pattern design. You trace the design onto a piece of backing, both the front and the back of it. Then, you iron on fabric scraps to the front. You don’t have to worry about staying in the lines, because you have the pattern traced on the back as well. Once everything is ironed down, you flip it over and cut it out. Very easy, but the lines come out perfectly! Lilian loves cutting up little pieces of fabric for me to iron down. This is what we were working on when she took the scissors to one of my blocks. Note to self: nothing but scraps on the table when we’re working on these. It was a bit of a pain to sew everything down (I only had medium weight Heat N Bond on hand), but she is so pleased with her new pillow. The only problem is, now she wants a million more! We’ve made a kitty and a unicorn using the same pattern, but I haven’t sewed those down on anything yet. She asked for a new duvet cover, but that seems like an awful lot of work.
I feel like I never have time to blog these days, but then I reminded myself this AM that blogging could be that something better than scrolling through Facebook. So, maybe I will try to make a habit of posting a little more often. We’ll see. Usually I say I’m going to post more, and then disappear for a few months instead!
(Spoiler alert: I’m dusting off the ol’ blog to let you know about the passing of my beloved cat, Tabitha. This is a total bummer of a post. You have been warned.)
Nothing good ever came out of the phrase “can I talk to you in the hall for a minute?” Monday was no exception. I was getting ready for a flight to Canada, and Lilian was hanging out with me in our room. Kristian stepped out into the hall with me, but he didn’t have to say anything. I already knew it. My cat, Tabitha, was dead.
She hadn’t been doing well for the past year or so. She was peeing all over the house, and she suddenly seemed really, really old (she was about 14). We spent a lot of money on vet visits and blood tests, and they finally figured out she had hyperthyroid-ism. Getting her thyroid levels under control seemed to make a difference, but she was still peeing all over the place. We moved her up to the third floor to minimize the damage. She started declining again. And then she really started to go downhill. Sunday night, I told Kristian that I didn’t think she was doing very well. She was kindof listless, and she cried when I pet her. He was going to call the vet on Monday. But, well…
Kristian went upstairs to take a shower and he found her. She was curled up like she always slept, she looked really peaceful. I’m glad that she went peacefully. And I will be eternally grateful that Kristian didn’t have to make the difficult decision to put her down while I was away on business. It also made a real difference that I got a chance to pet her one last time and say goodbye to her. I picked her up and put her in a tote for Kristian to take to the vet (an Amazon box just seemed to un-dignified). I told her that she was a good cat. I told her that I loved her. And then I had to get on a plane and go do my job.
This is what I wrote about Tabitha on Facebook:
My cat, Tabitha, died last night. I got her when she was a tiny kitten and I was a junior in college. [My friend Vicki] said that she would see me through a lot of major milestones, and she was right. Tabitha was there for bad breakups, new jobs, moves, and all of the bumps and bruises that come from being in your early twenties and having no idea what the fuck you are doing. I knew Kristian was a keeper when he met her for the first time and helped her with some sensitive grooming. I used to joke that having a cat meant never drinking alone, but Tabitha was the buddy I came home to instead of a tiny, cold apartment. She was there when I got married. She was there when I had Lilian. I almost can’t believe she won’t be there anymore. She had a rough time of it this past year. Part of me is glad that she died peacefully before her quality of life went way down. But I’m gonna miss my little companion. Even when she was crotchety, old, and slightly incontinent I still loved her. RIP.
 I thought that maybe people would think I was being overly dramatic about a cat, but I was completely overwhelmed with love and support from my friends. It brought real comfort to me that so many of them remembered her so fondly.
Poor Kristian had to deal with all of the aftermath on his own. He brought her to the vet to be cremated. He had to pick out the box that they are going to give her back in. We elected to wait to tell Lilian until I get back, but he’s spent all week knowing that he’s going to have a very difficult conversation on her hands if she notices that Tabitha is gone and asks him about it. Tabitha spent half her time hiding under the bed upstairs, so Lilian might not notice. Fingers crossed that I can be there to tell her with Kristian tomorrow.
I’ve listened to this podcast, so I know it might not be her we get back. Or all of her. Or just her. But I also know that I need more closure than the few tears I shed before I had to pull my shit together and get to the airport. So, we’ll bury her remains in the backyard this spring and have a little ceremony for her. Tabitha was a special cat. She was my cat. And I don’t think I’ll ever have another cat as special to me as she was.
After all of that, I got to Canada and Immigrations decided that all of the paperwork that has been perfectly sufficient for all of our previous visits was not enough. I honestly think that the look of “holy fuck my cat just died, I can’t believe you’re going to send me home” on my face is what made him decide to let me into the country instead of putting me on the next plane back home. I did manage to get a lot done this week. And then they boarded my plane home while I was in the bathroom and I got stuck here for another night (the story of how that happened probably deserves an entire post of its own).
You have to laugh or you’d cry, right?
(I may or may not be crying in my hotel room right now).
This week has put me through the ringer. And now I have to get up at 4am tomorrow, fly home, and help Kristian tell Lilian that our cat is dead. Facebook tells me that three-year-olds are pretty oblivious about this stuff. I’m really hoping that she is oblivious about this. At any rate, I am very much looking forward to getting home to her and Kristian. Who has been amazing this week. And who took the news that he’d be solo parenting for another 12 hours with a lot more aplomb than I would have. Even on one of the shittiest weeks I can remember, he still makes me feel lucky. For that, I should be grateful.
(I’m mostly grateful.).
(But fuuuuuuuck this week has sucked.)
Halloween is pretty much my favorite of all the holidays. I love the candy, the decorations, the costumes… (when I was a freshman in college, I outfitted about a half dozen friends on the spur of the moment with just what I had in my closet). I love love love making costumes for Lilian.
Her first Halloween, I was too exhausted to get all that creative. So she wore a hand-me-down Lobster costume and I tried to not eat her.
Next year, I got to have a little more fun! She was a winged monkey from the Wizard of Oz. I loved how the little fez came out (it was a mini Ben and Jerry’s carton that I covered in red felt).
 
Last year, she was Sulley from Monsters Inc. It was a fairly easy pattern to sew, but fake fur is no joke! I think I broke about 17 needles while I was working on it. At the last minute, she almost didn’t wear it, which would have just about broken my heart. In the end, she got very excited about going “rawr!” and people giving her candy.
This year, she was Astrid from How to Train Your Dragon. We thought we’d be all smart and spend the end of September/beginning of October getting her excited for her costume. Which was a great idea… until the power in our attic went kablooey and I had to start sewing with the help of an extension cord from the bathroom. Not a lot of light up there these days. I almost wished that I’d just bought her an Anna dress and called it a day. (Almost).
I did one thing right, which was to get started early. I did some research (aka, spent an evening on Pinterest), gathered up most of my supplies, and started sewing with plenty of time to spare.
For those of you who are interested in these sorts of things, I got most of my inspiration from this post. I started with her basic process and then went from there. The little skulls and spikes are all model magic. I painted mine using some glittery acrylic paint, which ended up being the biggest pain in the ass. Model magic isn’t porous at all, so I had to dab the paint on with a foam brush. It took forever and got all over my hands. After it was all done and dried, I read this post about how you can color model magic with markers. I soooooo wish I had done that instead. Lilian loved the sparkles, but I have a sparkly marker set that probably would have worked just fine.
The skirt I pretty much improvised on. I measured Lilian’s waist, divided by 10, and then used that number to cut out a template for the maroon flaps. The leather under-skirt and headband I made using a bag of leather scraps that I got on Amazon (these are all affiliate links). If anyone is desperately trying to figure out how to make one of these things, feel free to leave a comment, but I pretty much made it up as I went along. It was pretty gratifying to know that I have enough sewing technique in me to put it all together without a tutorial.
The “armor”, I’m pretty proud of. It’s just regular quilting fabric from Joanns, but I sewed interfacing into it to make it nice and stiff. This one I also did without a pattern, but I can say that it’s three rectangles, each one about an inch shorter from the last. I sewed it directly to the shirt, and it held up really well. I folded it in half and then ironed it to give it some of its shape.
The shirt I ended up sewing from scratch. Partially because I didn’t have much luck finding a ready-made one with the right kind of stripes, and partially because Lilian fell in love with the fabric when she saw it at the store. It’s not really the right colors, but like I said, Lilian loved it. And isn’t that what really matters? It’s also super soft. I might have to make her a non-viking version. The pattern is this one. I didn’t bother with any of the ribbing/hemming. Partially because I wanted a little bit of a rough viking look, partially because I was under a time crunch at that point (I ended up having to travel for work and lost a few sewing days the week of Halloween).
My sister Melissa recommended epoxy to glue all of the skulls and spikes on, and I should have listened to her! We didn’t have any epoxy, so I used hot glue instead. I figured I’d see how they held up during a trial run, and if they didn’t stay on I’d get some epoxy. We took Lilian to visit Beans at work the afternoon of Halloween, and everything stayed on just fine. Of course, when it came time to get dressed for trick or treating, everything started falling off. I ended up pulling off anything that felt loose, scoring the backs with my fingernails, and then re-gluing everything. Luckily, hot glue dries super fast and we only lost one spike after that.
Lilian wanted me to dress up as Astrid as well. But that would have been a) weird and 2) way too much work. So, I bought this dragon hoodie instead. “I’m going to ride you mama!” was Lilian’s response. Eeks.
Gracie was a dinosaur with a little caveman riding on her back. Dinosaur/dragon, caveman/viking, potato/potawto. Pepper made her own dragon costume and joined us for pictures and trick or treating.
I got Lilian a little axe and shield to go with her costume. Which was probably a terrible mistake, but was also a lot of fun for all of us. She was surprisingly good about not whacking us all with the business end of the axe. She mostly just banged it on her shield to make her mama dragon go to sleep (she remembered that from the movie). She’s starting to push her limits with the axe now, but is good about settling down when I remind her that she’s not allowed to hit anyone (or anything but her shield) with it.
Trick or treating was a lot of fun. It seemed like there were a lot of neighbors (even more than last year) that just turned all of their lights off, but the ones who were participating put up a lot of decorations and got all into it. One woman had a super detailed Ghostbusters costume (including backpack, gun, etc). We also saw a lot of parents in costume, which made me feel like a little less of a weirdo in my dragon hoody. Lilian was really good about saying “trick or treat” and “thank you,” although she did yell “let’s go get some morrrre cannnnddyyyyyy!” as we left most of the houses. Anytime she got to pick, she either went for the M&Ms or Whoppers. Whoppers?!? I have no idea where she got that one from. I gave her a pack to eat, just in case she was just grabbing them because she liked the color of the wrapper. At least I won’t be tempted to eat all of them while she’s asleep.
Pepper loved the shadow that her costume made. It was pretty sweet.
We did about three blocks, which took us a couple of hours. We had a great time chatting with all of our neighbors, and showing off Lilian’s costume. Nobody had any idea who she was, but they all thought that she looked adorable. She very proudly told everyone, “I’m Astrid!” I like the idea of her seeing herself as a strong viking who doesn’t take any guff.
Next year, I will probably get no say in Lilian’s costume. Hopefully, she will pick something fun!
First things first, I have been totally remiss in not giving y’all an update on our dog Gracie’s cancer. The surgery went well (the recovery was a bit of a nightmare, but at least all of that is over). We got the biopsy results back last week, and they were good but not great. On a scale of 1 to 3, Gracie’s cancer was a 2. Which means that it has a medium risk of reoccurring/spreading. Better than high risk, not as good as low risk.
(Math!)
They got good margins. Which means that, as long as it didn’t spread, we should be able to put this all behind us. That’s a pretty big if, but I choose to be positive about all of this. What alternative is there?
Did I mention that the recovery was a bit of a nightmare? Because it was a total nightmare. She cried non-stop for days, bled all over our kitchen, had to wear the cone of shame and an old t-shirt to keep her from scratching at the incision, needed all sorts of pills, had to be carried out to the backyard to go to the bathroom… Basically, none of us slept well and the house smelled something horrible. At one point, she knocked a baby gate over in the middle of the night, ran upstairs to our room, and I had to carry her crying and panting back downstairs (she could get up stairs, but not down them).
(Have I mentioned that she weighs 45 pounds?)
She’s all healed up now, so we’re back to giving pills 2x a day to just one pet. Yay? I’ve gotten pretty good at grabbing Tabitha, throwing a pill to the back of her mouth, and then feeding her some yogurt to make her swallow it. We’ve only had one pee incident since we got her on thyroid medication, so that’s pretty good. I’m still not sure how we’re ever going to go on vacation again without spending a fortune on a cat sitter, but I guess we’ll figure it out eventually.
We finally bought a new oven. It’s nice to be able to bake things again. Not so nice to have to pay for a new oven… But, hey, now I can drown my sorrows in freshly baked cookies.
(I have not been baking cookies.)
(Yet.)
Yesterday, we discovered a major electrical issue at our house. Which means that we currently have no power in the 3rd floor or LJ’s room. And will be paying a pretty penny to fix it.
(I know houses and pets are expensive, but did they all have to be quite so expensive all at the same time?)
(ARGH.)
I’m not going to lie, the past few weeks were pretty overwhelming. It seemed like every time we turned around, something expensive was breaking, or we were getting some more bad news. The half marathon was a welcome distraction from it all, but now I’m feeling a bit of a post-race letdown. Being all tired and sore probably doesn’t help either. I’m hoping that a couple of good night’s sleeps will help.
(Nothing else breaking in this #@!%$! house would be nice, too.)
Things that I am currently grateful for:
- Our family’s health. Sick pets suck, but it’s so much better than sick children.
- The fact that we actually have savings. If all of this stuff had broken about 6-7 years ago, we would have been totally screwed.
- We caught the major electrical issue before it became a major fire.
- Kind and supportive family and friends who have been shoulders to lean on and who supported me every step of my fundraising and race.
- A wonderful husband and daughter who cheer me up at the end of every day.
- The fact that I actually enjoy my job. I know, I know… who actually enjoys their job? I do, apparently. Life is a lot less stressful when you spend 40ish hours a week doing something that you actually enjoy doing.
So, that’s where I’m at these days. A little tired, a little overwhelmed, but mostly ok.
(Let’s help that things settle down.)
(Soon!)
A couple of months ago, I made a deal with the internet.
“Internet,” I said, “help me raise more money for the Children’s Hospital at Dartmouth and I promise to do silly things for your amusement. In fact, if you help me to raise at least $2000, I will run the last mile of the half marathon in a Katy Perry costume and giant cat head. We shall call it Kitty Purry, and we will all get a good laugh while helping the children.”
The internet, it would seem, loves nothing more than cats and laughter.
And, thus, I was Kitty Purry.
The logistics of driving up to the race as a family didn’t really work out (our pets, they need so many pills). So, I ended up taking the bus by myself. And then my sister proceeded to spend the entire weekend making me feel like a rockstar.
(Yay!)
Because I raised over a thousand dollars last year, we got an invitation to a reception the night before. They did a great job of honoring sponsors, volunteers, fundraisers, etc, while still reminding everyone about why we were there. My sister and I both left feeling incredibly inspired. Sorry, Facebook friends and Twitter followers, but I think we’re going to do this all again next year.
(Now I just need to come up with a crazy costume idea that’s equally amusing, but maybe just a smidgen more aerodynamic.)
Sunday morning was race day. It was also snowing. Because, who doesn’t love to run in the snow?
(Me. I do not love to run in the snow.)
I thought I trained better for this one, but apparently I trained 2 minutes slower.
(Those hills! Those hills!)
My sister did her best to motivate me up the worst of the hills (at one point she resorted to yelling “wheeee!” and throwing leaves on me), but I was… not speedy. Things that make me feel better about this.
- I raised even more money than I did last year. I will take more money for sick kids over a faster time any day.
- I might have been slower, but I was definitely steadier. Last year, there were a few times when I was legitimately not sure if I was going to finish. This time, I knew I had it in me. I did some walking on the last two hills, but otherwise I ran the entire thing.
- Also, that cat head really did slow me down.
My sister ran the last mile with me (dressed up like #leftshark), and I’m so glad she agreed to. Because, otherwise I probably would have tripped and seriously injured myself. I knew going into this that it would be hard to see out of the head (there’s a little window that you can look through, but it’s encased in styrofoam, creating literal tunnel vision), but I hadn’t factored in the bounce factor. As in, the head was bouncing around and my little tunnel basically just gave me strobe vision. But my sister held my hand and she made sure I didn’t fall.
We rounded a corner and the finish line was in sight (well, not my sight). All of a sudden, I heard the announcer say “is that… is that a giant cat head?!?! it is a giant cat head! go cat head, go!”
(I’m more than just a head, people.)
My sister turned to me and said, “everyone is staring at us now.” So, of course, that’s when my grass skirt fell off. So, I leaned over to pick it up… and dropped the cat head.
(If I’m going to run in a ridiculous costume, I’d like to do it with some goddamn dignity.)
(This probably added seconds to my race time.)
I got myself sorted out, we ran in, and I managed to cross the finish line without tripping over the timing mat. Mission accomplished!
I’m not going to lie, it was an emotional weekend for me. Last year, most of what CHaD does was a bit of an abstraction to me. This year, because we had been to the reception the night before and met some of the CHaD kids and their parents, it was all a lot more real. Ahead of me on the course, I saw a couple of the moms that had spoken the night before. One of them had a good outcome, one of them didn’t. But they were both clearly having a very intense experience. I ran the same miles as them, but not in their shoes. I can only begin to imagine what it’s been like. I’m so glad that there are places like CHaD, where children and their parents are truly loved and cared for.
It was an incredibly humbling and inspiring weekend, one that both made me realize just how fortunate I’ve been in my life, but that also pushed me to want to help out however I can. I’m already dreaming up ways that I can embarrass myself next year. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
At the reception, I met the girl who was one of the stars of the CHaD Roar video. She’s a young adult now, doing well, and getting cutting edge treatment for her cystic fibrosis. I told her how much she had inspired me (I did the run last year in good part because I saw the video and wanted to help out). She thought my Kitty Purry costume was pretty funny. I’m not entirely sure where I’m going with this, except that sometimes it’s really nice to know that things turned out ok.
If you’d still like to make a donation, you can do that here.
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