There are certain traffic offenses that I will give people a pass on (both for cars and pedestrians). I mean, I would be a big fat hypocrite if I got mad at speeders, jaywalkers and people who punch it through yellow lights. You want to cross where there’s no crosswalk? As long as you’re being smart about (ie. don’t run in front of my car or I will flip you off with the flurry of a thousand angry middle fingers), I couldn’t really care less. However, there is one rule of the road that you had better follow or you will forever be branded a douche-bag in my mind and I will have absolutely no sympathy for you if you are caught and ticketed. In fact, I might just do a gleeful little dance on behalf of your citation.

I’m talking about people who cut off funeral processions.

Sure, we’ve all known someone who didn’t notice all of the daytime headlights and ignorantly cut in on the highway. I would argue that absentmindedness of that level would indicate that maybe, just maybe you need to start paying better attention when behind the wheel, but it’s not a particularly malicious act. People who purposefully would do such a thing? I hate you. I really hate you. And I haven’t even really been to all that many funerals. I just hate you on principle.

I mean, here we have a long line of cars of people who are mourning. They have lost a loved one. Somebody fucking died. And some asshole comes along and makes their day that much worse by cutting them off and disrupting the procession. Talk about kicking people while they’re down. I find it unconscionable.

Sure, it’s annoying to have to wait for a long line of cars to go by, especially if you’re late for something. And, I really do wish that more people would carpool. An awful lot of those cars usually have one, maybe two people in it. But, really, I figure as hard as my day might be and what a pain waiting is, it just doesn’t compare to burying a loved one. Anything you can do to make that monumentally awful task just a little bit easier should really be a no-brainer. Give a hoot, let funeral processions go by in peace.

What set off this little tirade of mine? I was walking to work today and, while waiting for a funeral procession to pass, I watched a girl walk right into the middle of it, forcing everyone to slow down and cutting them off from the cars that had already passed by (including the fricking hearse). I wanted to yell out, “Hey chickie, just because you have a walk signal, that doesn’t mean that you can cut off a funeral. Back the fuck up.” But, I’m a pussy and prefer to rant about people on my blog instead of confronting them. You might call it passive-aggressive. I suppose that I would agree with you. Also, I tend to get really shocked at the fact that people can be that self-centered and then I clam up out of pure disbelief.

Luckily, the woman in the car who got cut off had a little more presence of mind than me and yelled out, “Move it you idiot, this is a funeral procession.” Always late to the game, I nodded my head and told the girl, “She’s right, you know.” I know, zinnnnnng, right? I bet that girl will be up all night shaking with anger and embarrassment, replaying my mighty words.

I hope she cries.

Honestly? The whole point of this entry is so I could make that horrible pun. I’m oh so very sorry.

One of my coworkers brought me grapes today. As in, a whole entire plate of grapes. As in, way more grapes than is probably healthy for me to eat on my own.

See?

I asked if the grapes were for everyone to share and she said that, no, these grapes are for me, no sharing necessary. So, being the selfish glutton that I am, I took her at her word. The grapes are now sitting on my desk and I’m eating them like it was my job. I mean, I’m getting paid while eating them. So, that sortof makes them my job, huh? No? Enh.

I was trying to figure out what I had done to deserve my own plate of delicious grapes when she reminded me of the time that she brought in grapes for everyone to share and I went to chow town on them and polished off a good portion of them myself. So, apparently I am being rewarded for my inability to share. Either that, or these grapes have been loaded down with ex-lax or poison (frankly, I would take the poison) and I’m being punished for my inability to share.

Either way? Mmmmmm….. grapes.

Are you getting bored of house photos yet? If so, too bad. I have no life these days. So, this is pretty much it for blog content.

Ok, so after we had our floors done, the first thing that we did was to repaint our bedroom. The original color could only be described as “toothpaste green.” In fact, Kristian just bought a tube of Sensodyne that is pretty much an exact match. I knew that room would give me nightmares and/or headaches if I had to sleep in it. So, off to the paint store I went!

This is what the room generally looked like. The picture really doesn’t do the nausea-inducing qualities of the paint job justice. I borrowed that ladder from work, btw. I love being able to re-appropriate tools.

The room needs a little work. As in, when we’re done with it, it might be mostly made up of spackle. Also, the molding is missing in several places. I took all of the light-switch plates off to paint. I plan to decoupage them with something pretty before I put them back on.

Yeah, ummm… no comment.

This is what the room looks like now. We still need to work on the window trim (and we want to put up crown molding at some point), but I’m so much happier with how it is now. I also want to rip that fugly purple carpet out, but we’re taking things as we have the resources to do them.

I chose a peaceful sky blue for the color because we wanted the room to be our little oasis. We bought some flowy white curtains at Ikea that I can’t put up until the trim is done and we’re still waiting for our bed (it was back ordered). Once we get all of that stuff in, the room should really be beautiful.

The room has a ginormous closet. It is now my closet because Kristian doesn’t trust me to share. So, he claimed the closet in our guest room and I get the whole thing to myself. Darn. Don’t you hate it when you have a giant closet to yourself?

(God, I hate that carpet)

The cats are pretty happy with the new house.

This is what a week’s pay at Ikea gets you. The world’s most giant dresser. The instruction manual was 40 steps longs and the last 5 steps had to be repeated eight times (for each drawer). It was a good test of our handiness. It looks like we passed.

That’s it for now. I’ve got a full set here. I figure I’ve bored you enough for one day. I’ll post later with more photos.

I have many photos of our house, but I thought that it might be overwhelming to put eleventy billion photos in one post. So, I’m breaking things up a bit.

First up? Our floors! The floors were the first thing that we did and the only work on the house that we paid someone else to do. I’ve gotta say, it was worth every penny. They look fricking fantastic!

Before (all of these photos are on flickr, click to embiggen):

Oh, what a difference a floor sander, sealer and three coats of polyurethane make:

I suspect the floor guys of ripping all of the boards out and replacing them entirely. It’s almost unbelievable how much better they look.

Hopefully, our own improvements will be just as successful!

I have been seriously remiss in my posting of pictures from our new house. My only excuse is that my own camera was packed and that I took a bunch of photos with Kristian’s camera… and now he can’t find the cable to upload the photos off of them. So, rest assured there are before and after photos of our floors and our bedroom. They’re just trapped on a tiny little camera, waiting to get out. Luckily, I found the box with my camera in it yesterday.

Well, in the comments on my last blog entry, Vicki requested photos of the raised garden beds that I’m building. How can I say no to requests for pictures of dirt? So, I whipped out my iPhone and snapped a picture. What can I say? I aim to please.

As you can see, I’ve built up quite a pile of dirt. Unfortunately, that pile of dirt has to be about twice as big as its current size. Also, that fence to the left of the garden bed needs some work. :p

I promise more photos when it’s actually done. I’ll try to snap some shots of the house today with my camera (that I didn’t lose the card reader for, thank you very much). I spent several hours yesterday unpacking stuff in the kitchen and I have to say that I am quite proud of how things are looking.