You know you have the best friends in the world when you can send them an email that essentially says, “I’m feeling pretty sad and will probably not be the greatest company, but I’d love to hang out with you tonight” and every single one of them shows up. With food.
I experienced a whirlwind of emotions on Friday afternoon as my family attempted to figure out just how urgent it was that we all make our way to CT to see my grandfather. By the end of the day, I was exhausted, mentally and physically, but simultaneously desperate to get out of my own head. Kristian suggested that we invite a few folks over, so I sent out the aforementioned sad sack of an email. I wasn’t sure if it was asking too much to invite people over for the sole purpose of cheering me up, but if I was out of line they were all too nice to do anything but cheer me up.
I almost felt bad about having such a good time, but it ended up being a lovely evening. Kristian made homemade pizza and we ate ice cream and yodels. We made plans for a big road trip that we’re hoping to take in May. And we went through a bunch of old photos and laughed at the ridonculous hair that we all sported back in the 90s. Mostly, I basked in their friendship. It was glorious.
Saturday was tough. Kristian and I drove down to CT where various family members had congregated and we all spent most of the day comforting each other and crying. We’d all be fine for a bit, but then somebody would start crying and we’d all start crying. It was positively dehydrating.
My Grandfather is in decent spirits and he’s still not in any pain. Uncomfortable, yes, but not in any pain. He takes a lot of naps, but I did manage to spend a little bit of time with him. I told him what an amazing Grandpa he is, the gold standard of Grandfathers. Which made him cry. Which made my Grandmother cry. Which made me cry. I can’t get the image of his tears out of my head, but I’m glad that I said what I did. He is an amazing grandfather. I’m pretty sure that he’s aware of how we all feel, but it was important for me to tell him. I just hope that this hurt in my soul can fade into a dull ache. Right now, it’s almost unbearably painful.
It’s a testament to how amazing my Grandfather is that so many people have been checking in on him and reaching out to my family. The nurse from his oncologist’s office called on her day off to check on him. A woman from another office stopped by the hospital to visit him. My family has to maintain a strict schedule in terms of who can come over, because otherwise he’d be overwhelmed with visitors. That’s just the kind of man that my Grandpa is. People are instinctively drawn to him. He has that kind of spirit.
This has been a tough time for me, but I know that I’ll get through it. How could I not? I have the world’s greatest friends and family.
You and your family have been in my thoughts lately. Your Grandpa sounds like an amazing man and I’m so glad that he knows he is loved, and that YOU know you are loved.
(And seriously, what was up with 90s hair? Were we blind?)
I love you and your family, Hope. This is hard. Hang in there and let your friends support you.
You’d do it for them.
I can’t tell you how many times I read the comments on this blog and think “where the hell is the like button? and the “ditto” button?”
Your family is so amazingly loving and supportive and that translates into how you interact with your friends and the rest of the world. You attract good people shining such a bright light and when you let them be there for you everyone ends up feeling better, and grateful.
I can only imagine what we’re going to say in ten years when we look at pictures from today….
And thanks for thinking of us. 🙂
Thanks, Mary. 🙂
Thanks, Pam. You’re the best! I’m so glad that you and my Dad found each other. You’ve made all of this that much easier.
Wow. You are really a lucky woman. I have a lot of pretty good friends but very few that would show up in that way.
sending you my very best thoughts because I remember very well what this all felt like. it sucks balls and you don’t want to miss a single minute of it. and the fact that you are able to have that time with him, as much as it hurts, is priceless.
Times like these pull friends and families closer, glad you have a tight network