My Ears, I Can’t Pop Them

Dustin, today’s blog-off topic is: Health.

I’ve always been a big ol’ baby about my health. As a result for some weird overcompensation that I have for my wimpishness, I now assume that anything that bothers me that doesn’t manifest itself in major bleeding is just me being, well, a big ol’ baby. I usually don’t go to the doctor for anything until someone (usually Kristian or Beans) tells me something along the lines of “You are clearly very ill. Make a doctor’s appointment before I beat you over the head and drag you there myself.”

Well, apparently I have a new symptom (besides massive bleeding) that will motivate me to pick up the phone and call my PMC. 

Ears so clogged it feels like I’m wearing the world’s lamest ear plugs. 

I don’t feel sick, nothing hurts, my nose isn’t even all that stuffed… but my ears are so clogged you could probably use their contents to create a whole new branch of Madame Tussaud’s famous museums. Every time I swallow, my ears attempt to pop and then go “Just kidding! ahahaha!” and make an awful crackling noise.

I went to the doctor this morning expecting them to either say “Yeah, your ears look bad, here are so drugs” or “Stop being such a big ol’ baby, you’re fine.”

What I wasn’t expecting was for them to say, “Yeah, your ears look bad but there’s nothing that you can do about it. Go home, keep taking decongestants, breathe in lots of steam and hopefully it will clear up on its own.” Decongestants and steam. Yeah, I was doing the whole decongestants and steam thing and it DIDN’T BLOODY WORK which is the reason that I made the decision to see a trained medical professional in the first place.” 

Not that I’m bitter or anything. 

Ok, maybe I’m just a wee bit bitter.

I guess it’s a good thing that I don’t show any sign of infection and that my lungs sound good. It’s not like I went in there hoping to have something serious. I was just kindof hoping that there would be something that they could do to help me feel better. She did recommend that I try allergy medication (Zyrtec or Claritin), so there’s a chance that will work. 

In the meantime, I will work to make myself look so pitiful that my boss has no choice but to send me home.

Just kidding, Jeff!

*Makes sad puppy dog eyes….*