What’s that they say? “Man plans and God laughs.” Well, in this case, it was more like “Hope plans…. and God smites her with a good ol’ fashioned stomach virus, causing her to miss out on seeing 90% of her out-of-town family and skip her step-dad’s 70th birthday party, and finally leaving her sick and exhausted and begging her husband to take her out back and shoot her, Ol’ Yeller style.”
But, that would never fit on a coffee mug, so I guess we’d better stick with the original.
(If you’re squeamish? Stop reading now. Because this story contains a lot of vomiting.)
This was supposed to be my weekend. I’ve been working my tucchus off at work the past few weeks, so I took off Friday and Monday so that I could recuperate a little, spend time with family, and celebrate my step-dad’s birthday. I had it all planned out. We had a playdate all setup for Friday morning, with coffee and mini-muffins and everything. My Dad and Stepmom would show up around lunchtime and I would go do something decadent like take a yoga class or get a pedicure (that’s what passes for decadent around these here parts nowadays). Then, we were going to head on over to my mom’s house to see out-of-town family as they arrived. Saturday was going to be a family day, with Honk! in the morning and the birthday party that evening. Sunday would involve more Honk!ing, and then we’d head back home to watch the Pats game with my Dad. Monday, I was going to hang out with my Mom and sister Christina, maybe even sneaking off for a nice, long run.
I know it sounds ambitious, but I was pretty sure I could pull it off. I mean, Kristian bought mini-muffins. You know it’s a plan when you buy mini-muffins.
And then…
Friday morning, I wandered into Lilian’s room to get her ready. “That’s funny,” I thought, “you don’t smell so good.” Well, babies tend not to smell so good after they throw up all over themselves. She was surprisingly blasé about the whole thing. Me? Not so much.
Playdate? Frantically canceled. Mini muffins? Totally wasted. Grandpa? Given the option of staying away from our house of germs. Wisely, he chose to avoid the plague. I can’t say I blame him. I rather wanted to run away screaming myself.
Lilian is remarkably easy to watch when she’s sick. She wants to sleep, and she wants a lot of snuggles. Neither of these is particularly taxing. She doesn’t even cry that much. There was the whole “nasty stomach virus” angle, but even that wasn’t too bad. The part that was not so fun? The part where I spent 12 hours cooped up in the house, with the only reprieve a walk to CVS to purchase pedialyte.
The best part? When Lilian woke up from her last nap of the day and literally started climbing the furniture. No, seriously, that is the best part. Because it meant she was getting better! Also? We really need to bolt the bookshelf in the living room to the wall. Because Lilian literally tried to climb it like a ladder.
(That’s my girl!)
Friday felt like a brief hiccup, but we figured we could still pull out the rest of the weekend. I got up on Saturday, took Lilian out in the jogging stroller for a (surprisingly crappy) run. And then we were going to head over towards Somerville to spend some time with the family.
(Foreshadowing.)
(Dun dun dun.)
Yeah, I’m gonna cut to the chase. Lilian threw up again. And then? A few hours later? I started throwing up. And then we thought everyone (ok, Lilian) was feeling better. But she wasn’t (because she threw up again). And then it gets kinda hazy. But I think I took a nap. And I probably did some crying at some point. It was not exactly a proud day for me. The good news is, Kristian took really great care of Lilian and me. Really, really great care of us.
I mean, the whole weekend was pretty much a bust. But if the worst thing that happens to me these days is that we get sick for a couple days and don’t get to see family? I think we’re doing pretty good. I mean, everyone got better. And (spoiler alert!) we got to see quite a few people on Monday. I spent a lot of time this weekend reminding myself about just how lucky I am. It took a little bit of practice, but I eventually got the hang of it.
I missed everyone like crazy, and I was sick as a dog, but I was also very aware of just how lucky we really are.
(Ok, that’s a little nutso.)
(But it worked.)
(Mostly.)
Ok, one last sucky thing about the weekend and then I promise to make a better attempt at positivity. At some point on Saturday, we realized that Lilian hadn’t really been drinking since the last time she puked. Lucky for us, we have a pediatrician on speed-dial. She’s also my sister-in-law, so we don’t have to pay her weekend rates. She told us to get a syringe and then make Lilian drink. It was pretty horrible (there was a lot of crying and thrashing involved, mostly from Lilian), but also really effective. I am so grateful to have someone who we can call in a situation like that who will give us good, effective advice.
(I’m also really glad that we didn’t have to go anywhere near any emergency rooms.)
Sunday, we were all on the mend, but still house-bound. Kristian let me sleep in and take a nice long nap. (Love that man!) He also got the house as ready as it could be for him to be gone for a few days. Because, did I mention he had to leave on Sunday for a work trip? Because, he did. Kristian getting the house ready for him to be gone involves quite a bit of dishwasher running, and laundry, and cooking. A lot of cooking. Because he has somehow convinced himself that Lilian and I will starve to death if he’s not here to feed us.
(Because we would probably starve to death if he wasn’t here to feed us.)
He stuck around as long as he could, but eventually he had to leave. Lilian and I watched some football together (go Pats!). Until there were only a few minutes left in the game but she just couldn’t stay awake any longer (go TiVo!). I got her settled into bed and returned to the game later. Which is how I ended up watching one of the most masterful 4th quarter comebacks in recent Pats history all by my lonesome an hour after it actually happened.
It was amazing! (But also slightly anticlimactic.) Because I’d already resigned myself to them losing! (Also, because I kindof couldn’t take the suspense anymore and then totally cheated and looked on Facebook to see what people were saying about the game).
And then Lilian woke up several times that night. Which kindof sucked a lot for me. But she was waking up because she was hungry. So I kindof didn’t mind so much. And then this blog post got way too long. So I gave up and stopped blathering. The End.
(PS. We totally got together with everyone who was still in town on Monday)
(PPS. I’ll write about it later.)
(PPPS. If any of them get sick, it’s totally just food poisoning I swear.)
(PPPPS. Lilian and I are both feeling much, much better. She ate quite heartily, so I’m hoping this means my appetite will come back tomorrow.)
(PPPPPS. I lost like 3 pounds this weekend.)
(PPPPPPS. Kristian never got sick. The jerk. Lucky him! )
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