Wedding Recap: Part the Fifth

Most people don’t know that, traditionally, the person walking the bride down the aisle isn’t giving her away. The person walking the bride down the aisle is her escort. It’s the call and response with the officiant where you say something along the lines of “who gives this woman?” “I do!” that constitutes the giving away bit. Also, white dresses don’t symbolize purity, they symbolize the ability to spend money on a dress that is impractical to launder and might only be worn once. The veil symbolizes purity.

The more you know and all that.

(Lifting the veil at the end of the aisle also symbolically denotes consummating the marriage).

(Which, ewwwwwwwwwwww).

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, in addition to showing off what a wedding nerd I am, it’s also my roundabout way of saying that Kristian and I walked down the aisle together. Escorts vs. giver-awayers aside, I didn’t feel the need to imply that, prior to our wedding, I belonged to anyone else. But, mostly, I wanted to spend that moment of “holy crap, we’re about to get married!” with Kristian and walking in with him seemed like the best way to go about doing so.

So, for any of our wedding guests who loves to watch the groom as he catches sight of his bride for the first time, I’m sorry to have denied you that moment. Kristian doesn’t exactly wear his heart on his sleeve, so you didn’t miss much in the way of facial expressions. We had our photographer on hand for the “big reveal,” so there will be photographic evidence. It’s subtle, but he tells me that he thought I looked pretty good. 😉

***

We were running late, so we didn’t have a ton of time for the reveal and the photos. I was excited to see my man all dressed up and handsome, so I practically skipped over to where he was waiting for me to show up. I say practically, because I was wearing about a million pounds of wedding dress. So, I sortof dragged myself over to see him.

Kristian tells me that the wedding planner told him that I looked bangin’ hot (thanks, Melissa!). To which he replied something that can’t be repeated on a vaguely family friendly blog. Rest assured, it was quite complimentary.

(Those of you who know Kristian probably have some vague idea of what I’m talking about and are groaning inwardly right now).

I poked my head around the corner, yelled something like “psssst!” and then I ran over to see him. Kristian did, indeed, look quite handsome. And, for Kristian, he got quite emotional when he saw me.

(Which means that his expression changed for something like an entire three seconds).

(I guess I looked ok).

We had time to take a few quick photos and then it was time to get hitched! After the traditional “stuffing of the bride in a big, poofy dress into a smallish station wagon,” we set off across the street to our ceremony site with our bridal party. At which point, we had two issues to deal with.

The first issue was that nobody could find the iPod with our ceremony music on it. The second issue was that a good 15% of our guests were still stuck in traffic.

I figured these issues cancelled each other out at least somewhat, so we delayed the ceremony for a few minutes while my brother-in-law, Luke, went off in search of my iPod. He couldn’t find it, so he brought back my iPhone and I performed the traditional “purchasing of the ceremony music from iTunes whilst hiding in the woods from all of the wedding guests.” I wish that there was a picture of this moment. I’m told that it looked pretty funny.

Beans also tells me that this is the one moment during all of the wedding craziness where she would have understood me indulging in a brief moment of bridezilladom. I suppose that I can give myself some credit when I say that I remained calm while purchasing the music. Although, I must admit, I did jokingly shake my fist at my phone upon discovering that one of the songs was a premium song and would cost me an entire $1.29. And then again when iTunes oh so helpfully reminded me that I’d already purchased some of this music.

Final cost for mp3s? $3.27
Not having to walk down the aisle to some random song or podcast on my iPhone? Priceless.

We were still waiting on a few guests, but all of our parents and grandparents were there, so we decided that the show must go on.

Our bridal party headed in first, groomsmen walking in with bridesmaids. Each of them had a flower girl or ring-bearer by the hand, which is why every single child in our wedding party made it down the aisle without incident. I don’t know why more people don’t drag their flower-girls in that way. Not only did it make for an easy processional (no tantrums halfway down the aisle), it meant that none of the bridesmaids needed a bouquet. Also? Small children being led by the hand are adorable. I wish that I’d been able to see it (I was still hiding in the woods when they walked in). I really hope that someone got a good picture of it.

***

I wish that I could describe to you the joy that I felt while walking out onto a sunlit field, linking arms with the man I love, listening to the Weepies sing “Painting by Chagall.” It was a gorgeous day, as lovely a day as you are ever likely to see in September in New England. Which is to say, breathtakingly beautiful. We got married at an incredible place, a place where all three of my sisters got married and where my family has been vacationing for years. The vast majority of our favorite people were there, or at least the ones who had managed to struggle through the traffic. It was about as close to perfection as you’re likely to get on this imperfect world of ours.

I wish that my words could do justice to that moment. Better yet, I wish that I could bottle up that moment and take it out to revive my spirits on bad days.  Unfortunately, I’m not able to do either of those things. So, picture one of your happiest moments, remember the way you smiled and go ahead and assume a similar state of mind. There have been many joyous moments in my life, but this ranks up there with the best of them.

There appears to be something in my eyes.

We made our way up to the front, although I couldn’t resist waving to a few folks along the way. I saw lots of smiles and tears. Heck, I was full of smiles and tears. To be honest, I was surprised by the pure emotion of the moment. We’ve been dating for six years, living together for five years, joint home-owners for three years. By most standards of reason, this wedding was a bit of a formality. But I was blown away by how, in the moment, it felt intensely important to me.

Our officiants (my step-sister Jess and her husband Eric) greeted everyone and then it was time to make our way through our short but sweet ceremony. Kristian and I needed to allow access to the microphone for the folks who would be reading and singing, which is how we ended up standing off to the side, arm in arm. We hadn’t planned to position ourselves that way, but it felt right in the moment. Funnily enough, several people told us how much they loved that we stood together like that. Which just goes to show that you can over-plan a wedding to your heart’s content, but it’s the emotion at the core of things that will give it meaning and that you simply can’t fake. Go figure.

Kristian’s sister, Nora, read a line from Ghandi and said a few, lovely, words. My sister, Melissa, read this poem. And then my step-sister, Violet, got up to sing “What a Wonderful World.” Unfortunately, the music that she was supposed to sing along to wasn’t working. So, what’s a girl who works in A/V supposed to do when the equipment malfunctions during her wedding? I bent down as gracefully as I could in my dress (which is to say, not very) and moved the cable that was plugged into the wrong input. Problem solved, a good laugh had by all.

Scandalous!

Eric prompted us through our vows, which is where I very nearly cried all of my eye makeup off. If I was unprepared for the impact of walking into our wedding, I was doubly unprepared for the force of saying our vows. Especially since I modified them from vows I found on the internet. Kristian and I got more than a little bit choked up while saying them. And, judging from some of the photos I’ve seen on Facebook, we’re not the only ones who got a little bit teary.

Eric, using the power that had been bestowed on him by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (thanks, Universal Live Church!) pronounced us to be married. Which meant that it was time for the smoochy smoochy. I thought that we pulled off some tasteful church tongue. In retrospect, after looking at some of the photos, I apparently attempted to suck Kristian’s face off.

Mea culpa.

Although I don’t recall hearing any cat-calls.

We made our way back down the aisle, I lifted my bouquet up in triumph and then it was time to par-tay!

Part the next: Par-tayyyyyyyy!