So, Kristian and I went out for a late lunch at Vinnie Testa’s today. Apparently that restaurant is a haven for disgusting people with bad no manners. Something about a place that will give you a half pound of pasta for ten bucks can attract a certain, uh, clientele I guess. Kristian had just started telling me about how the last time he was there some dude wouldn’t stop letting out the most disgusting farts ever when…
The guy sitting across from us started making coughing noises. And snorting noises. The type of noises that a person would make before hocking a loogie. Apparently he was hocking up loogies, because Kristian saw him spitting one onto the floor. Spitting loogies on the floor!
I will let you ponder the grossness of that for a moment.
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(still pondering?)
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(it’s pretty gross, huh?)
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Sorry, I needed a moment.
Yeah, so it was pretty gross. Words cannot describe the grossness of eating a nice pasta dinner, serenaded by the sounds of *coughsnortgurglehackcoughsnort*. Let’s just say that we finished pretty quickly.
The saddest part? Was that he was there with his little daughter (maybe 3ish?) and a woman who was either his wife or girlfriend. The daughter was really cute. The woman seemed really nice. And they both just sat there as this guy made noises that wouldn’t be tolerated at a McDonalds. And this was a restaurant with real cloth napkins! Not that I’m trying to be a snob or anything. But I think that bodily functions should be kept, well, bodily. As in, in your body and not anywhere near my fettucine alfredo.
I felt bad for his girlfriend/wife. She looked to be all of about 20 years old and the look in her eyes said something like “I can’t believe that I let this asshole knock me up. I really hope that snotting in public isn’t genetic.” And the whole time the dude just sat back going *coughsnorthackgurglecoughsnort* so loud that, as we were leaving, we could hear him at the end of our section. An entire section of people held captive by a man making jet-engine snorts.
I have no idea what I should have done. If I had tissues with me, maybe I would have walked over and handed him one. But I didn’t. And I couldn’t think of something scathing and yet appropriate to say.
What would you have done if forced to sit across from someone like that?
Don’t feel too bad for the stupid bitch that decided to have sex with this disgusting asshole. She had a choice….she slept with him…had a baby…and is now stuck. STUCK!
Sorry…got a bit carried away at the thought that someone SO disgusting actually reproduced. I’d write a letter to the restaurant…tell them how disgusted you were and maybe you’ll get a free meal for which you can get takeout so you don’t have to sit anywhere near the loogie floor.