So, do you remember our neighbors who like to shout about blow jobs at 11 o’clock at night? Well, they’re back. With a vengeance.
They’re like an aging action hero with an iron-clad contract.
You just can’t get rid of them.
The latest wackiness? They apparently think that they own the parking spot in front of our house. Because they shoveled it. About a million years ago when there was still snow on the ground.
(Please don’t remind me of the impending snow storm this weekend. I will weep loudly and forcefully and it will be embarrassing for all of us).
Ok, let’s look at all of the facts:
- This parking spot is on a public street
- Directly in front of our house
- The snow melted about a month ago
Look, I feel for the woman. Really, I do. It must be hard to be so incredibly lazy that the thought of walking an extra 12 feet to get to your car is enough to cause you to honk and yell at your neighbors. There is a winter parking ban on our street, which means that she can’t park on her side of the street. Which means that she has to park on our side of the street, a whole, entire 10 feet away. And then we have the cheek, the gall, the nerve to park in front of our own house. And she is forced to park illegally in front of her own house so that she doesn’t have to walk any more than is absolutely necessary. And then the parking tickets just start piling up.
Or, she is forced to yell at Kristian until he moves his car to the next spot over. Something which he is never, ever allowed to do ever again or I will leave him and take the pets with me.
We shoveled out several spots on our street this winter. I had no idea that I could claim them for ever and ever and ever (amen!). I can’t wait to yell at the next person who parks in one of “my” spots. Our neighbors should all just go ahead and sell their cars right now. Because, by the time I’m done, there won’t be any available street parking for a 10 block radius. I’m fueled by chutzpah and my own sense of entitlement. And I own like seven different shovels.
I wouldn’t take someone’s freshly shoveled parking spot. That’s a dick move, right there. But a few days after a storm? All bets are off. And long after the snow has melted? I’m pretty sure that people have been placed on the psych ward for delusions less crazy than that one.
The winter parking ban switches sides next year. Which means that we will all be forced to park on her side of the street. I’m sure she’s going to love it when I shovel out the spot in front of her house. Because then I’m leaving my truck parked there until April.
You can not out crazy me. You can not out bitch me.
You just can’t.
My neighbors are actually still using traffic cones to block their spot off when they leave for the day. It bugs the hell out of me (despite having a driveway) because it’s not right! I’m not really sure of a gameplan to fix it though, and I don’t really need to make enemies unnecessarily, so I’m just stewing about it instead.
Hmmm, this story sounds familiar! 🙂
Yes, she is crazy.
Aaaaamen. In Eastie, our beloved hood, people are CRAAAAZY about parking spaces. Like, smash a chair through your window because you took the space they shoveled out three weeks ago crazy. Also, if you do try and save a space, most people just drive into your chair/whatnot and push it to the curb. Awesome.
Do what I do and rage on the internet. :p
I am so glad that we have a driveway! We’ve only parked in that spot a few times, but it doesn’t seem to make her any less angry.
You neighbor is giving you a ticket to crazy…horrible.
When it snows, write REALLY??? It’s 12 feet on her windshield.
The crazy is almost worth it for the stories. Almost.
LMAO…… now I know never to mess with Ms. Hope!!!
I am the metaphoric slumbering giant. 😉
Literally laughing out loud. Like, nearly peed my pants.
Hmmm… a lot of bloggers are sponsored these days. I wonder if I could get some monies from Depends….
Hope, don’t wait for the snow next winter. As soon as this year’s parking ban is over, go park your truck in front of her house. Just do it. When she yells at you, smile your biggest smile and tell her she can only save one spot and since she didn’t want you parking in front of your own house, hers was the logical choice.
Mary, you are an evil genius. I love it.
[…] I celebrated by getting up early, driving with Kristian out to Foxborough and running a 10k. Our neighbors celebrated by setting off fireworks all night and then getting in a screaming match some time […]