I’ve been told by certain people that I need to write something controversial in order to get a proper dialog going. You know, like more than my average 0.66 comments per entry. I wish that I could say that I did that math in my head (8 comments divided by 12 comments equals 0.666666… comments per entry). But that would be a lie. I used a calculator widget. I am a geek. A geek who can’t do math in her head. Also, a whore for apple.
What was I talking about? I got distracted by something shiny. I have the attention span of a hamster jonesing for Ritalin…
Oh yeah, I’ve been told that in order to spark a response, I should say something offensive. But not something so offensive that you all (you all? Ha! The four of you who read this is more like it) don’t rise up en masse and club me like a baby seal.
Yeah, jokes about baby seals is probably not the best way to go if I don’t want to be beaten like a redheaded stepchild. Oh shit, probably shouldn’t talk about the red heads (or the stepkids!) like that. Does it help that I am now (as of this post) a redhead? Also a stepchild (hopefully for a hell of a lot longer than the red hair lasts).
What is it about these offensive old sayings that keeps them in our language? It seems like, on a daily basis, I am forced to mentally bitchslap myself for saying phrases like “paddy wagon” (a slur against the Irish) or “I got gyped” (not so nice towards Gypsies). Calling people mother-fucking-retards is definitely over the line but I take full responsibility for the offensiveness of that one.
So, my dear readers, all two of you. What is your favorite phrase that you know that you shouldn’t use but you still find yourself saying?
ps. posting this brings my comment average down to 0.61 So you had better post some comments mothahfuckahs. š
So as not to disappoint…and since I guess I brought up the idea of sparking controversy to get more comments…I would have to say that I can’t tell you a few of the inappropriate phrases I might use for fear of offending some of your readers. All 2 of us. This was a good post…I like it, but I find that the more offensive stuff comes from my family (aside from the “motherfuckin douchebag” that crosses my lips in traffic as I consider running someone into a light pole). My family is REALLY not prejudiced but some of the terms they use are not…I repeat…NOT appropriate in any 21st century situation. They’re a product of their generation. If everyone (again…all two of us…and Hope) wants examples…I can give them, but I’m almost to embarrassed to type them here! I did make the mistake of using “that’s retarded” once in front of my friends whose son has Down Syndrome…not good…not good at all. They didn’t appear offended, but I felt like a dumb (but not necessarily a cheap) Jew.
Hope, that’s not true. I’m rarely controversial on my blog and I get comments.
Controversial phrases. Hmm. My nephew told me that I use the word “sucks” too often.