Dear People: You Suck

Dear Person Who Flipped Me Off While Cutting Me Off This Morning:

You suck. I hope that the next person you pull this on decides (unlike me) to speed up instead of brake. Way to set an example for your two little kids in the back seat. And just remember, BMW repairs are expensive. Keys are cheap. I’m not threatening. I’m just saying, is all.

Signed,
Little Miss Road Rage

To My Morning Bus Driver:

I must admit, I am having a difficult time figuring out how you manage to alternate being five minutes early with ten minutes late. Either way, you’ve inspired me to drive a lot more often. Global Warming will kill us all AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT. Get a watch and learn how to use it. Think of the polar bears. Won’t somebody think of the polar bears?!?

Signed,
Little Miss Almost Late For Work

Dear 87% of the Female Students at this Fine University:

No matter how much you want them to be, leggings are not pants. Nobody wants to know  the exact shape of your ass. Trust me on this one. Although I do have to give you props for making me feel better about my cellulite.

Signed,
Yours Sincerely, Get off of My Lawn

5 Comments

  1. Hope

    You know it. I know it. Deep down inside, I think that they know it.

  2. Oh my lord. I think there are very few posts I like better than “angry open letters”. They’re always so full of WIN.

  3. I think you’re wrong about the ass thing. When I was a student {remainder deleted}.

    Yours
    Uncle Pervert

  4. Hope

    I haven’t laughed that hard in quite some time! For the record, these are usually not asses that anybody would be interested in seeing. 😉

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