Contrary to popular belief and my own heart strings, we haven’t officially adopted Gracie.
Yet.
Officially.
And, even though Kristian is talking to our insurance agent about adding her to our homeowner’s insurance, I am attempting to keep my hopes at a reasonable level.
(It’s too late!)
(They’re sky high!)
Gracie finds herself in the same position as the cat from Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Basically, because she is technically in a temporary situation, certain things that would normally have happened by now have been put off. In cat’s case, it lacked a name. In Gracie’s case, she lacks an official doggie bed.
Although is it really so horrible to sleep on a comforter on the floor? It’s folded over several times. I slept on the floor for several years as a small child. My parents split up and my Dad took his sweet ass time in getting the daughter:bed ratio up to 1:1. When the ratio was 3:2, I slept on the floor in a closet. And walked uphill both ways to school, barefoot, through broken glass. And I turned out just fine. Mostly. If Gracie wasn’t a dog, I’d even give her real pillows. Mine were pillowcases stuffed with t-shirts. Kids Dogs today are so spoiled.
Things are settling back down after Gracie killed Pepe le Peu. You only smell that horrible stench when she breathes. That’s an improvement of some sorts, I guess? It certainly gives new meaning to the phrase “skunk breath.” And by “new meaning” I mean, “Holy hell, this is what people mean when they say skunk breath. Also, talk about an understatement.”
Also! The wave of eau de skunk doesn’t hit you when you walk into our house anymore. Now it hits you once you’ve reached the kitchen. That’s 4-5 whole feet of skunk odor abatement! At this point, I’m practically spoiled by the lack of skunk funk.
Speaking of being spoiled, who knew that I could get out of chores by offering to walk the dog? I certainly didn’t, or I would have adopted a dog a hell of a lot sooner. Tonight, Kristian gladly traded taking out the garbage for taking out the dog. Seeing as how trash night is my most hated of all chores and I actually love walking Gracie, it almost seems too easy to swap one for the other. Almost. Don’t forget, the poor thing has skunk breath. Also, anytime the wind picks up it pretty much blows the scent right back into your nostrils.
“Who you calling stink breath, filthy human?”
Man, she is such a pretty girl but dogs are so, so gross. Our dog Molly once ate a bucket of fish bait that had been left in the sun – my God, what an eye-watering stench. I can’t even imagine dead skunk breath!
It’s pretty horrific. But, at least it’s getting better. Why is it that dogs are so much more disgusting than cats? I keep telling Kristian that this is good practice for all of the bodily fluids that we’ll be dealing with when we have kids someday.