Kristian and I are in New Orleans and neither of us brought laptops. Hell has apparently NOT frozen over, because it is very hot here. Anyways, this means that I will be tappity tap tapping my entries out by iPhone while I’m here.
Expect a lot of spelling missteaks.
(that was a joke, get it?)
But seriously, I can’t be held responsible for any formatting errors.
All of our wacky hijinks today have left me too busy to blog until now. And by wacky hijinks I mean attempts to sleep on a plane, cab rides and dinner. There was also some time spent by a pool… But we never put our bathing suits on, so it doesn’t count. So, Dustin has set a topic and that topic is celebrities that we’d like to punch in the face.
This is a difficult topic due to the fact that there are so many celebrities that I would love to introduce to the concept of a knuckle sandwich.
What can I say? I’m secretly full of impotent rage.
If I had to pick a top five (and I do), they would be:
Celine Dion. Seriously is there anyone who has been forced to listen to “My Heart Will Go On” that hasn’t contemplated a trip to Canada for the sole purpose of slapping Ms. Dion silly? The Mounties would totally take you out, but it would be so worth it.
Gwyneth Paltrow. Here’s a hint Gwinnie: when you try to look all posh, you really come off more as constipated. Also, your faux English accent is more annoying than madona’s. And that’s really saying something.
A-Rod. As a Red Sox fan, I am contractually obligated to put Steroid-Head-McSlappy-Pants on my list.
Zac Effron. I’ve never actually seen anything that he’s been in (technically I saw him in the musical tribute at the last Oscars, but I have repressed that memory), but his smirk annoys me to no end. I’d also kindof like to take a pair of pinking shears to his prissy haircut.
Chris Brown. Two wrongs don’t make a right… But maybe he could use a reminder as to why it’s not cool to hit people.
So which celebrity would you want to unleash your aggressive tendencies on?
MILEY CYRUS! I kinda want to slap her just for existing, but then as soon as she opens her mouth…it takes super strength to resist my arm’s natural urge to slap her silly.