Weekend Roundup

My weekend was great, until it wasn’t great. Then it was really not so great. Everyone following along? Great.

Saturday began very early. Kristian woke up early and he couldn’t sleep, so he went downstairs to watch TV. Unfortunately, he hadn’t woken up completely, so he went downstairs to watch TV with the volume up and the surround sound turned on. The fact that I didn’t murder him with a length of speaker cable fashioned into a garrote is proof of my unyielding love for him. Who needs that extra hour of sleep when you have unyielding love?

Plus, he made me breakfast. That always soothes the angry she-bear.

Seeing as how we were the only house in our neighborhood that hasn’t recently been foreclosed on to not put up lights, we decided that it might be a good idea to make the effort. It’s not that we think our neighbors are silently judging us to be soulless scrooges… but we think that they might have been silently judging us to be soulless scrooges. So, we went to Costco and bought some LED icicles. 

Did I mention that we went to Costco on Friday night? Because, you see, we went to Costco on Friday night. And Kristian bought me a hot dog and a soda for $1.50.

Best. Date. EVAR.

BTW, I’m eating meat again. Bacon is delicious!

Where was I? Oh yes, standing on a very tall ladder putting up Christmas lights. Our next door neighbor walked over to watch us. The exchange went something like this:

Neighbor: “Do you want to borrow a better ladder?”
Us: “No, we’re fine”
Neighbor: “Are you sure you don’t want to borrow a better ladder?
Us: “Thank you so much for the offer, but we’re fine.” 
Neighbor: “Seriously, I have a ladder right here. Why don’t you borrow it?”

It’s like he thought that we were going to fall of the ladder and the resulting medical bills were going to cause us to lose the house, thus causing home values in our neighborhood to plummet even further. Let’s face it, nobody wants to buy the “Christmas lights of doom death house.” At least not at market value.

Actually, I think that he’s just a really, really nice man who enjoys helping us out, loaning out his tools and who is constantly amazed that I don’t send Kristian out into the cold to put up the lights himself. Also, that ladder was covered in dirt, which definitely gave it a certain “OMG Danger! NECKBRACE ALERT!” vibe.

I love our neighborhood. 

We finished putting up our lights just in time for my sister and her husband to show up. We gave them a brief tour of the house and then headed off for a party that we go to every year that involves a large warehouse and many, many, many craft supplies. This sounds like Hope heaven (I have my own craft room! Considered bringing my own glue gun with me! Consider sparkle paint to be a viable mean of artistic self-expression!) but the warehouse is also crawling with about 17,000 small children who are all running around, screaming, and covered in paint. I tend to get rather overwhelmed and OCDish. Every year I manage to make a wreath and not much else. 

It was a lovely wreath, though.

And I covered pine-cones with glitter and used them to decorate it.

I’m telling you, sparkles is my medium of choice. And not just because of some silly vampire books.

Anyways, I made a wreath and stuck some cloves in an orange and then called it a day. My sister and her husband gave me a ride back into town on their way to have dinner with my Mom. And I went to a party entitled “Fry Fest 2008.” The name should be fairly self explanatory, but basically they had a giant fryer and then they fried stuff with it. And we ate it. It’s a good thing that I’m eating meat now, because everything that came out of it tasted vaguely like turkey. Might have something to do with the Turkey leg that was THE SIZE OF MY HEAD that needed to spend some extra time in all of that hot oil. Nevertheless, everything was delicious. 

Now, some might say that it’s a bad idea to go to a party whose sole purpose is to eat badly when one has just dedicated oneself to spending a holiday season NOT eating badly. And those people probably have a good point. But, also? Two words: tempura, bitches. It can’t be bad for you if it has vegetables in it! Also? I made a point to only eat one bite (one very delicious bite) of everything. So, really, it was an exercise in eating not-too-horribly when surrounded by temptation. 

And I passed.

With mother-effing colors. 

Operation “let’s not blow up like a balloon, shall we?” is still in effect and it is going swimmingly. I weighed myself this morning and I’m right where I need to be.

Phew.

Anyways, Kristian picked me up from Fry Fest and we went home and I said, “Wow, I’m really tired and my throat hurts and I kindof can’t breathe through my nose. That’s odd.” And then I went to bed. And then I woke up and my entire mouth was filled with that horrible crusty stuff that you get when your nose is sealed up tighter than Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’s ass. Effectively turning your mouth into a human fly trap. Yeah, it was gross. And it finally dawned on me that, hey (duh!), you’re sick.

So I spent the rest of the weekend moaning on the couch while Kristian cleaned our house. Haven’t really left the couch (or my sweatpants!) since, except to take a bath and sleep for eight hours or so. So, it’s a good thing that I had an eventful Saturday. Or you would be forced to hear all about our couch. It’s a nice couch. Very comfortable. But not that interesting.

How was your weekend?