Tiny Moments

Yesterday, I made good time driving from work to daycare. When I walked into the infant room, Lilian was sitting on the floor, with her back to me, playing with some toys. Her teacher said, “look, it’s mommy!” and she turned and gave me an ear-splitting grin. I picked her up and she covered my face with kisses.

(Well, her version of kisses, which mainly involves gumming my cheeks and leaving behind large deposits of drool.)

We still had a couple hours of daytime left, and the weather was fairly mild, so I put her in the Ergo and we took the dog for a nice long loop around the neighborhood. Then, Lilian and I walked to our neighborhood park. And this happened.

(Lilian’s first time using a playground swing.)

(I think it’s safe to say that she’s a fan.)

So far, I think these tiny moments have been my favorite part of parenthood. Lilian’s grin when I dance like an idiot for her while helping with dinner. The look of comprehension when something clicks for the very first time. The way her face lights up when I walk back into a room. Taking a cat nap with her on the couch. She squealed with delight  when I showed her a new (to her) toy the other day, and then immediately pounced on it and started chomping ferociously on its crinkly bits. I started tearing up, I was so happy to watch her joy in discovery. I’m pretty sure Kristian thought I’d lost my mind.

It’s a good thing I can appreciate a moment in all of its tiny glory. Because, not ten minutes after we got to the park, the sun dipped behind the clouds and it was suddenly far too cold for my baby to be outside without a hat on. Sometimes I think that the key to enjoying parenthood is to have a selective memory. You remember the ten minutes on the swing, not the long walk home . Sleep deprivation probably helps with this.

Two nights ago, Lilian had an epic meltdown at bedtime and couldn’t fall asleep. I’m not going to lie, it was rough. Until I had my second cup of coffee yesterday, I was a little nervous that somebody might notice that my IQ had dropped about 20 points. We finally gave up and got her out of bed. Kristian took her outside to walk the dog with him. They got back and she was all smiles and snuggles again. She burrowed her head into my neck and I held her for an extra minute before putting her back down to sleep.

Parenting can be a tough gig sometimes. But I wouldn’t give up a minute of it.

Except the norovirus. I would give up the norovirus. But that’s a post for a different day.