Hope’s Maternity Leave Rules

While we were recovering in the hospital, every vaguely medical person who glanced at my chart felt the need to come into my room and ask me about post-partum depression (PPD). I have a history of anxiety and depression, so it makes sense that they’d be concerned. Especially after I told them that I’ve kept my mood in check for the past 8+ years with a healthy diet, exercise, and regular sleep. It’s a testament to their professionalism that nobody laughed out loud when I told them that. They all just said, “Well, you might need to find some new coping mechanisms…”

The smartest thing that one of the doctors did was to hand the PPD checklist to Kristian and tell him to be on the lookout for any warning signs. From what I’ve read, the most insidious aspect of PPD is that most women are too overwhelmed to ask for help. Or they’re embarrassed, because they think that they should be over the moon happy to have a new baby and they don’t want to admit that they’re not ok. Kristian watched me like a hawk for a few days, especially when I got all maudlin. It’s nice to know that he’s looking out for me.

Another factor that makes it hard to admit that something might be wrong is that most women get the “baby blues” for a few days after they give birth. Your body is awash in hormones, you’re not sleeping, and you just went through this big ol’ life-changing experience. So I guess it’s not that surprising that sappy commercials could make you cry. So, women assume that it’s the baby blues and that it will just go away and then they don’t get the help that they so desperately need.

Would you believe me if I told you that I didn’t get much of a case of the baby blues? It’s true! I had a few weepy moments for a couple of days after we got home from the hospital, but then things evened out and, for the most part, I’ve been completely happy. I was at a decently high risk for post-partum depression, so this was a very welcome turn of events.

I guess I’m not out of the woods yet, but it’s a good sign that I’ve made it this far without incident. And I hope that it stays that way! I’m obviously not sleeping well or hitting the gym hard-core, but I am trying to eat a semi-healthy diet and to walk as much as possible. It also helps that I have the world’s most supportive husband. It’s to Kristian’s immense credit that I can say to him, at five in the morning, “I’ve had it, can you please go change her diaper for me?” He might have accidentally fallen back asleep once or twice, but he mostly gets up and takes care of Lilian with no complaints.

I have two personal rules for my maternity leave, and I think that they’ve both contributed to my more even keeled state of mind. The first rule is that I need to take a shower before noon and then put on real clothes. The second rule is that I have to put on some sort of makeup every day, even if it’s just some tinted moisturizer and mascara. Why set these rules for myself? Besides vanity, that is. Well, it’s a slippery slope towards soiled yoga pants and greasy ponytails. Also, when you look good you feel good. I’m not exactly going to be offered any modeling contracts these days, but a hot shower, a pair of jeans and some eye makeup go a long way towards making me feel more human.

(We won’t tell anyone that I’m still wearing my maternity jeans).

I’m also trying to get out of the house once a day, even if it’s just to drive to the post office and purchase stamps. A lot of people have told me that I’m crazy to be out and about so much, but I honestly think that it’s the one thing that has really kept me sane. I mean, why would you want to spend an entire day cooped up in the house, watching daytime TV with a crying baby? Leaving the house means talking to other adults. It also usually means a happily sleeping baby, because she is pretty much guaranteed to pass out completely if you take her anywhere in the car.

So, there you have it. I’m not exactly well rested (hands up if you were up from 1am to 3am last night because your baby was just that hungry!), but I’m doing well, all things considered.

It certainly helps that I get to spend my days with this little bruiser.