Home Buying Update

I will have to make this brief, because I have the final exam for my class on Thursday and I am currently studying my little ass off. I know that I owe y’all a final recap of my last recording session, but I want to give it the time that it deserves and not rush through it in order to get back to my studying (see! I’m a dedicated student! somebody please accept me into grad school!). To tide you over, the pictures are here.

So, the long and short of our home buying situation is that we are currently in a state of limbo, and yet are moving forward. This would appear to be a bit of a contradiction (a very philosophical one at that). But, really, we’re playing the waiting game with the sellers’ banks and we’ve decided to pretend that everything will work out and have moved forward accordingly.

(If this post is a bit duller than usual and uses too many big words, I apologize. I’m reading a bunch of high-faluting texts at the moment and I think that the language is rubbing off on me. This in particular is very dry).

(I promise to read Cosmo before my next blog entry)

Are you still with me? Have I made things overly complicated? Good, welcome to my world.

Basically, we’re waiting for the sellers’ banks to approve the sale, because they (the sellers) owe more money than we are going to pay them for the house. So, the banks will probably have to take a loss. Apparently banks hate losing money. And the short sales are just pouring in. So, some executive is sitting in his office, buried under a mountain of paperwork and we just have to hope that he’s not crushed by manila folders before he has a chance to sign off on the purchase. And that his mistress doesn’t leave him, rendering him cranky and irritable and prone towards rejecting the offer.

We were planning on waiting things out, so we didn’t invest any money until we know that we’re actually going to be buying the house. That is, until we talked to our new lawyer, who said that getting all of our ducks in a row tends to light a fire under the banks’ collective asses. Once their asses start singeing, they might break out the Mont Blancs and sign off on our deal.

Sounds pretty good, right? The only problem is if the banker does get crushed under manila folders, his successor’s mistress leaves him for his sister and, in a fit of rage, he breaks out the “REJECTED” stamp and we don’t get to buy the house. This would suck for a couple of reasons. The first reason is that I have grown to love this house and my heart would probably break in a million little tiny pieces and then I would cry. The other reason is that we’d then be out all of the money that we’ve put towards getting things ready in anticipation of the deal going through. This would suck. And I would cry.

What money did we spend? Well, today we had a home inspection (paying a home inspector: $450. knowing that there is no zombie infestation in the basement: priceless). His report was pretty positive. For an old house that needs a lot of TLC, it doesn’t have any structural flaws. The biggest issue is the wiring in the basement, which is in pretty rough shape. It will probably take an electrician (armed with several thousand of our dollars) a couple of days to fix things up. But, hey, no zombies! I must admit, it’s a big weight off of my chest to know that (if we get the house, duh) we shouldn’t have any major repairs (knock on wood!) right off the bat.

The other monies are going to be spent on a lawyer to negotiate a Purchase and Sale. We’ve hired a family friend who seems like she really knows her shit and promises that she’s going to put all sorts of stuff in there to protect our interests. This is a good thing. I only wish that she could get the owners’ puppy to come with the house. That little guy was so darn cute! We’re hoping that having a signed P&S will entice the sellers’ bank into signing.

After our inspection this morning, we met with our banker to finish up the loan application and lock in our interest rate. We’re going to be going with an 80-10-10. That’s an 80% mortgage, 10% down payment and a 10% HELOC (home equity line of credit). This helps us to avoid PMI (yay!) and, once we pay down the principle, we can use some of that money. For hookers and blow. Just kidding. New kitchen appliances! Or, we can refinance and roll them together into one mortgage. The sky’s the limit! As long as we make all of our payments on time!

Speaking of payments, we also spent some of our time at the bank today opening up a joint checking account. Exciting, non? Buying this house together is really starting to feel like marriage without all of the fun stuff (like a big poofy dress and a party with an open bar). I mean, the bank is going to make us draw up wills (so I don’t croak, leaving my share of the house to my next of kin who would then start a legal fight with Kristian) and we’re tying our financials together. Sure, we don’t get to file taxes jointly, but it’s a pretty big step. I must admit, I got a bit sentimental about it as we were filling out paperwork. Kristian’s response? “You’re getting emotional…. over paperwork?” It’s like he’s never watched a sappy movie with me!

Whew, this entry is a lot longer than I had intended. Hopefully you all feel better educated about the horror show that is buying a home from people who owe more money than their house is worth. (Never. Again. Never. Again). Please, cross all available fingers and toes that this goes through. Because if it doesn’t? We’re going to be out about a thousand bucks. And I will probably cry.

(Oh, who am I kidding? I’ll weep like a baby)