After relaxing with my sisters, I was ready to tackle the rest of my to-do list. Which consisted of finishing up the caramel apples and hanging out with friends and family. In the interest of actually hanging out with friends and family, I decided to re-tool the caramel apple plan. Instead of making 150 apples (enough for every man, woman and child at the reception), we could make 80 apples. Couples and families would have to share, but that didn’t seem like such a big deal.
(One caramel apple is like a bazillion calories, so, really, we were looking out for everyone’s waist lines).
(Because I’m loving and thoughtful and all that nice stuff).
I think that was what helped me to enjoy our wedding without going too insane. Scaling back on the caramel apples in specific, sure, but mostly the letting shit GO. I focused on enough details that I knew that things would be nice, but not so many details that I went either a) catatonic or 2) all crazy bridezilla. The underlying structure was good. So, if certain aspects didn’t really work, I could either change them up or forget about them. Which is why the decorations had a cohesive look to them but we never bothered to paint the photo booth.
If someone were to ask me for advice on wedding planning, I think that’s what I’d tell them. Over-plan to your heart’s content in the lead up to the wedding, but then you need to sit back and trust in your leg work. If 90% of your plans come to fruition, that’s just awesome. Let the other 10% go. You’ll enjoy yourself a lot more, and that’s what’s really important. People don’t remember what your linens looked like, but they do remember if you were smiling. They don’t remember the specifics of your centerpieces, but they remember if you treated them well.
So, when all of the nitty gritties could be safely left to our wedding planner and her assistant, I let it all go. I concentrated on what I’d been looking forward to for all of this time: hanging out with our loved ones. People were arriving from all over and I enjoyed every moment that I got to spend with them on Friday. The kids were definitely the highlight for me. My niece Ruby running around while holding hands with the son of one of the groomsmen was just about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. My ovaries hurt just thinking about it. But the adults were equally delightful.
Traffic was terrible, so we had to wait for people to (slowly, very slowly) trickle in. The rehearsal was supposed to take place at six, but we made the decision that a rehearsal with only half of the wedding party was going to be pretty useless. It gave us some more time to spend with all of our out-of-town guests, so it wasn’t such a bad thing.
The rehearsal dinner was pretty casual, but it was huge. Even with just immediate family and wedding party on the list, we still invited about 50 people (siblings, we have lots of them). I think that I introduced everyone to everyone else… at least two or three times each. It might have been my social crutch for the evening, but it was surprisingly effective. Mostly because it gave everyone an excuse to laugh at me! “Why yes, Hope, I do know Dave. I’ve been married to him for almost ten years. But thank you for introducing us to each other just now.”
Every now and then, I would look over at one of Kristian’s relatives and catch that deer in headlights look on their face. I mean, I grew up with my family, I host ~18 people for Christmas every year and I still find them all to be more than a little overwhelming. There are a ton of us. And we’re loud. I was so impressed with Kristian’s family. They gamely joined into the fray. And not one of them ended up curled up in the fetal position, holding their hands over their ears and saying, “make the bad noises stop.”
(Don’t think I haven’t been tempted to pull a move like that in the past).
The dinner itself was incredible. My step-dad David spent what seemed like a solid week cooking in preparation. And my Mom added in all sorts of personal touches that somehow made a crazy free-for-all feel cozy and special. Kristian and I had suggested a build your own burrito bar (this would be my method of cooking…. open up a few cans of beans and then provide plenty of tequila). Instead, we had roasted turkey with mole sauce, veggie empanadas, homemade guacamole, mexican wedding cookies and a plethora of other tasty treats. Throw in a little social lubricant aka sangria and prosecco and I think that everyone had a good time.
We served the food buffet style and people were free to sit wherever they wanted. I meant to have a couple of toasts, but I totally forgot. Kristian and I wandered around greeting people and catching up. As it got later and later, we realized that we needed to have a rehearsal soon, or we were just going to have to wing it. So, we grabbed everyone in the bridal party and headed out to one of the small buildings on the property where we could rehearse in private.
For someone who packed all of her supplies for the wedding by category, there are a lot of things that I didn’t plan when it came to the ceremony. Luckily for us, Beans has been a bridesmaid approximately 7,623 times (numbers may have been slightly exaggerated, but not by much). I never would have thought to tell the wedding party wether to stand in a straight line or semi-circle (semi-circle 4 lif!) or to have the flower girls go sit with their parents after walking in.
We did a brief run-through, decided that we probably wouldn’t embarrass ourselves too badly the next day and then we called it a night. I was feeling pretty good about this whole marriage business. My one concern was that my nephew Dmitri was just a little too well-behaved while going through what he needed to do as the ring-bearer. “Oh great,” I told my sister Melissa (his Mom), “Now he’s going to take the rings and run off into the woods with them. There’s no way a five-year-old can be this great twice.”
(Spoiler alert! He was awesome the next day).
We handed out everyone’s thank you gifts, said goodbye to the folks who were going to be staying elsewhere, I thanked the wedding planners profusely for finishing up those damn apples and then I went to bed.
Most people have a hard time sleeping the night before their wedding, but I had two things going for me. The first was that Kristian and I stayed in the same room. I know the traditional thing would have been to ship him off to his parents, but I’ve shared all of the major moments in my life with him for the past six years and I had no intentions of making an exception in this case. I don’t sleep well when he’s out of town, so why would I purposefully make it harder for me to get a good night’s rest?
The other thing that I had going for me was generically-branded Nyquil. Because I was, cough cough, feeling a little under the weather, cough. Oh, and it just so happens to knock me out and help me sleep like a baby.
(The traditional drugging of the bride the night before her nuptials. Such a lovely custom.)
Part the next: In which I, like, get married and stuff.