Denver, In Pictures

I’m going to never get all of my updates done if we keep attending important events! Last night was my Grandfather’s 80th birthday party and I have about a bazillion pictures and a story about one very creepy old man (not my grandpa!). But first! Denver! And the wedding! And pictures!

I’ll try to make this post less recap-y and more about the highlights of the trip. Because, you know, it was a long trip. And there are a lot of pictures!

We flew out the Friday night before New Years. Kristian and I had the house that the family rented to ourselves. Big house. Big bed. Hot tub. All the makings of a fun night. A very, very fun night. And… we went to bed. It’s official: we are old. And lame. Well, the Noro virus that wiped me out probably didn’t help. But, we’re still lame.

The next day, Kristian went to Costco to stock the kitchen for the week. And then he came back and made quiche. Everyone showed up from their respective flights and Kristian offered them salad and quiche. Is it any wonder that everyone in my family loves him? Or that my sister has taken to offering Kristian quiche when she sees him? My family, we mock because we love.

Saturday night we went to my step-brother, Jeremy’s house for dinner and family time. We got to witness first hand just how relaxed he and his (now) wife, Vita, were about this whole wedding thing. It was amazing. Unflappable. I guess that once you go through your medical residency, anything else seems easy and stress-free. Jeremy mentioned off-hand that he would like my sisters and me to bring up the rings during the wedding ceremony. I told him that I had left my short pants at home. I had to explain the joke to him (you know, ring bearers usually wear tiny little tuxes with short pants. and bow ties). It was decidedly less funny with an explanation. I will come back to this ring-bearer thing later. It’s embarrassing. Sweet sassy molassy, it’s embarrassing.

I asked to turn the Patriots/Giants game on, much to the relief of every other football lover at the party. Well, there was only one other football lover there. And he’s a Vikings fan. But still, he was grateful. 16-0 baby, it was a great game.

The next day was, dun dun dunnnnnn…. Spa Day! I was really looking forward to my seaweed foot facial, but ended up feeling seriously underwhelmed at what ended up as basically an overpriced pedicure. I did, however, enjoy spending time with my soon-to-be-sister-in-law and her many, many (many!) female friends. It was especially nice at the wedding, when it felt like I knew every woman in the room. Unlike my poopy sisters, who all bailed on the spa at the last minute, leaving me to explain about fifty times that my sisters just “don’t relax” and had gone hiking instead. Their loss, I had an awesome time.

You know who wasn’t so comfortable at the spa?

My step-brother showed up at the end of the afternoon and I think that the sheer amount of estrogen in the room might have been a bit overwhelming. I mean, I was a little overwhelmed, and I was contributing to the output! He was incredibly gracious about the whole thing, however. I think that the stiff drink might have helped. Apparently the spa stocks whiskey for their male clients. Jeremy, because didn’t get a massage or a pedicure, had to be content with champagne. Poor boy. :p

After leaving the spa, we met up with the rest of our family, who had all gone to Red Rocks for the day. I was jealous for about two minutes, but Kristian promised that we could go again during our extra day at the end of the trip. Also, we went to a local restaurant for a snack and I consumed french fries, fried cheese and a root-beer float. It’s pretty hard to remain jealous when you are in the process of consuming good old american artery hardening snacks, ice cream and soda.

My step-sister, Jessi, also had a root-beer float.

Just like me, she’s not such a fan of sharing.

We headed back to our rental, where I promptly passed out in a fried food coma. It took an act of god and Kristian’s repeated pestering about how late we were going to be to get me back out of bed. We then headed to a thai restaurant to consume a very large and very tasty meal with Jeremy, Vita, their fathers and respective families. I continue to be utterly and endlessly amazed that I didn’t come back from our trip about 15 pounds heavier. It must have been the high altitude. And luck. A large amount of luck.

Vita’s family is both delightful and Russian. They are delightfully Russian. They were particularly delighted that my sister Christina speaks Russian. They weren’t even fazed that most of the Russian that Christina knows is in the form of nursery rhymes. At the end of the evening, they recited a few rhymes with Christina, laughed uproariously, we said “do svidaniya” and took our leaves. We had important business! Namely, to chill out in the hot tub. I suppose that one heats up in the hot tub, but my feet did do some major chilling while running through the snow to jump in.

Kristian and I were the only ones who decided to use the hot tub, so we took advantage of the time alone to have some quality time…. talking. What? Did you think that I was going to say sexy time? Have you forgotten that we are both old and lame? Besides, we didn’t know that my sisters had no intentions of donning swimsuits and running out into a Colorado winter night until we got back inside the house. Drat.

The next day, we made an exciting trip to the REI flagship store where Christina purchased some new sneakers, I purchased some snowshoe poles and Allison pretended that she was making said purchases so that we could use her employee discount. Did I just write that? What I meant to say was, Allison purchased some sneakers and snowshoe poles for herself. It’s too bad that she forgot to pack them with her when she left. They came in quite handy during our hike at the end of the week.

Jessi’s boyfriend, Eric, and Christina discovered the two most comfortable chairs in the store.

I took about a half dozen pictures of the two of them lounging. Unfortunately, this is the most flattering one. I suppose that the act of lounging doesn’t really lend itself to flattering photos. Allison almost talked someone who walked by into buying one of the chairs. She is very, very good at what she does. There’s a reason that her sales numbers are always high! I was impressed.

We headed back to the house because, well, we had a wedding to get ready for. On the way, we happened to see the theater where our friend Slim Cessna was playing that night. Small world, huh?

He was outside, smoking, so we stopped by to say hi. It totally blew his mind. I mean, how often do you play a show in Denver and have friends from the East Coast stop by to say hi? Well, I imagine that it would be fairly common if you live in Denver. Slim lives in Pennsylvania. So, his mind was officially blown.

We headed back home to get ready for the wedding. We did, however, manage to squeeze in some hot tub time and some Flight of the Conchords time. Priorities and all that. Plus, we didn’t have to be at the wedding until eight. Allison, Christina and Eric joined us in the hot tub this time. Jessi had to abstain because she’s allergic to chlorine and, so, the hot tub would have been less relaxing and more deadly. There’s just really nothing relaxing about your throat closing up.

Even with the hot tub and the songs about robots, we had plenty of time to get ready. I gotta say that, as a family, we looked damn spiffy.

Eric (left) and Jeremy (right)

I have more pictures of the family spiffiness, but apparently I didn’t upload them. I should get on that.

*wanders off*

*uploads more pictures*

Ok, there are now more pictures of family spiffiness. I won’t put all of them here, but here’s some of the highlights:

Best. First Dance. EVAR

Jeremy danced with his mom for the Father/Daughter-Mother/Son-dance, but she bowed out early and he asked Vita’s mom to dance with him. We thought that he earned some major brownie points for that one, but then we found out that she told him…

“If you mess this up, I will kill you.”

You laugh, but she wasn’t joking. Seriously.

My sisters, with Vita’s cousin

This picture was taken moments before my Mom told Kristian “No pressure or anything, but I looooooooove weddings.” And then elbowed him. In the ribs. Hard.

Har. Har. Har. I love jokes about us getting married. Really. Love them. You know what else I love? Elbowing people who make jokes about us getting married. Hard. Ha! Hilarious.

The wedding was really lovely. Really and truly lovely. The setting was beautiful. Everyone was happy. The food delicious. The drinks free flowing. Everything was perfect. Oh yeah, except for the lame ring bearers who dropped Vita’s ring.

Did I mention that? We brought the rings up, my sister accidentally hit my hand and the box with the ring went sailing through the air. Everyone gasped. The box landed, I picked it up. Everyone laughed. I was mortified. This just goes to show you, the ring-bearing job should be left to the professionals. Six-year-old boys. Carrying pillows that have the rings sewed onto them. Firmly.

For the record, the ring was still in the box when I sent it flying. It remained in the box. All’s well that ends well. I’m still embarrassed about it though.

I should probably end this entry now because it’s getting long and I’m getting tired. I’ll finish up tomorrow. I promise.