Booted.

How does the phrase go? Don’t write checks that your ass can’t cash. And pay your parking tickets or they’ll put a boot on you.

Yeah.

I ran a half marathon a little over a month ago and I finished, even though my foot was in so much pain by mile 10 that I was practically crying. Sometimes, I’m stupid like a fox.The next day, I pretty much couldn’t walk. I’ve been slowly getting better, but it still hurt. So, my Dr. (who thought that it was plantar fasciitis) referred me to an orthopedist. I thought that I was going to get a referral to physical therapy.

Hoo boy, was I wrong.

The orthopedist jammed his thumb right into where it hurts, listened to my screams of pain and thus deduced that I have a possible stress fracture. Then he booted me.

*Cue Law and Order dun dun DUN gavel music.*

I’m getting an MRI on Thursday. At 9pm at night. Joy of joys. Then, I wait to find out if this is a stress fracture, plantar fasciitis, or something else. In the meantime, I’m supposed to keep the boot on when I’m not driving or sleeping. And the orthopedist shot down all of my helpful suggestions of different exercises that I could do instead of running (I haven’t been on a run since the race that started this all).

“Can I bike?”
“No.”
“Can I do the erg machine?”
“No.”
Well, what can I do?”
“You can do upper body weight-lifting at the gym.”
“That’s it?!?!”
“You did this to yourself!”

That, my friends, is a direct quote. I’d make a snarky comment about how the hippocratic oath doesn’t say anything about not being a douche, but he was just joking. And, honestly, he was right. I did do this to myself.

The boot itself is not so bad. It doesn’t bother me if I’m sitting or lying down. It does start to hurt if I stand in one place for more than a few minutes, because my feet aren’t level, which throws my hips out of whack and then causes all sorts of pain. It’s also hot and itchy. And giving my heel blisters.

Ok, maybe the boot is pretty bad.

At least it’s not crutches! And it doesn’t limit my mobility too much. Plus, hello sympathy. Everyone is really nice to the girl with the boot. We’ll ignore all of the rude stares from strangers.

At this point, my biggest concern is that my exercise options are so limited. I have a bridesmaids dress for my sister’s wedding that was a little on the snug side, but which should have been totally fine. I always lose some extra weight in the summer from playing ultimate frisbee and running around so much. That’s not happening right now. I’m being really careful about what I eat (I don’t want to have this thing come off, realize that I’ve gained 10 pounds and then hate myself) and I’m trying to get some exercise in. Hopefully, it will be enough. The dress still zips up, but it’s not exactly easy to zip. My sister has been amazingly supportive and she tells me that I can wear a different dress if it comes to it.

But, dammit, I don’t want it to come to it.

Looks like I’m not eating ice cream anytime soon.

Let’s all cross our fingers that whatever this is, it’s a quick recovery! I mean, I walked around on my foot for 5+ weeks before they booted me, so it can’t be that bad.

Or I could just be that stubborn. It’s a distinct possibility…