I’ve just decided that my last blog post comes off as incredibly whiny and a little bit selfish. “Wah, everybody cry for me because my life is over because I probably won’t get into Harvard Law School.” It’s like the skinny, blonde homecoming queen complaining because she got a pimple. Somebody tell that bitch to get over it.
I had this idea in my head that I was going to totally ace the LSAT and then I was going to get into Harvard and then I was going to graduate and be the “poor” kind of lawyer and do good things for people and Harvard was going to pay back my loans for me because, hey, they’re Harvard and they can do things like that. I’d happily go to a lower ranked law school if they had the money to forgive my student loans if I don’t get a job that pays a ton of money.
The fact of the matter is, if I only want to go to law school when it’s free, I probably have no business being a lawyer.
I am also aware of the fact that a lot of people would kill to get a 162 on the LSATs without having to take an LSAT class. My percentile rank for the LSATs was 86. That’s not exactly a score to sneeze at. If my biggest complaint these days is that I got a 162 and not a 172 on the LSATs, I should consider myself to be extremely grateful.
Besides, even the “poor” kind of lawyer will eventually be able to pay off her loans. Even without a loan forgiveness program.
Ya know, I work with this guy who grew up in the killing fields of Cambodia. Although he’s never talked about it, I know he’s seen shit that would probably have me retching on the floor, and to be honest, he probably was retching on the floor at first too. And yet, I can still feel all icky about seeing somebody turned into road pizza by a bus and not feel guilty because somebody else had worse.
All suffering is relative to the person, as is all joy. If something makes you feel bad, well, that’s how it goes. It’s okay to wallow in it every once in a while – it was a goal you had, that you had set for yourself, you put some time and effort into it, and you didn’t reach it. You’re permitted to feel bad about it.
Thane’s right. There is nothing wrong with being disappointed in not reaching a goal. Hell, I’m still bitter about getting 2nd place in a skating competition 15 years ago, I’m the last person to say you can’t be a little disappointed (sorry if it didn’t sound that way earlier). I do want to offer you congratulations though because you did well!
If you’re still undecided about whether the cost of law school is worth it, you might look into volunteering as a court appointed advocate, if they do that in your area. That might give you an opportunity to see some of the legal system and be a voice for the little people.
Hey sweetie,
I still think that is a super awesome score and you should be extremely proud of yourself. Most people who score higher take classes and retake the LSATs several times, so if you really have your heart set on Harvard, you can still always do that.
Just don’t get discouraged, even if you’re disappointed right now. The important part is continuing to have the courage to dream (wow I really need a rainbow here).
– V