Random Acts of Not Punching People in the Face

I spend far too much time taking public transportation and helping PhDs with A/V equipment . As a result, my faith in humanity is not always exactly sky high. Throw in the occasional bike commute and it becomes downright remarkable that I haven’t forced Kristian to move with me to a compound in Wyoming.

It’s not quite so remarkable when you realize that I’m somewhat attached to the idea of not going down in a blaze of Waco-like fire and fury.

Sometimes people do things that remind me that maybe we’re not all the bastards that I think we are. It’s somewhat infrequent, but it does happen. Like the two guys who saw me struggling to help Kristian load drywall into our truck and silently lifted my end up for me. Or the people who hold doors for me when I’m loaded down with 80 pounds of A/V equipment.

Tonight, I have a sneaking suspicion that person was me.

I was walking back to my truck when I noticed a woman asking a guy for directions to one of the buildings on campus. He said (rather snootily, I might add), “I don’t go to school here.” And that was the end of it. Until I flagged her down, asked where she needed to be and gave her my best directions. I could see the frazzled look on her face slowly fade away and find its replacement in genuine gratitude.

And it felt damn good.

This is what I don’t understand. Helping other people out feels good. Selflessness comes right back around to selfishness when you think about how nice it feels to lend someone a hand. It takes about 3 seconds to hold a door for someone, but the smile and the thank you are well worth the effort. It’s not exactly difficult to grab the other end of a stroller when someone is trying to get it out of a non-handicapped accessible subway station (something that I once did and I thought that the grateful mother was going to hug me right then and there).

So why don’t more people go around doing the little things?

Heck, I routinely walk up to people who look lost and ask them if they need directions. Because I am a random act of kindness junky and giving directions is like crack to me. A chance to help someone out, earn an appreciative “thank you so much!” and listen to the sound of my own voice? Sign me up, please. I’d be tempted to start taking down street signs just to be “helpful,” but I live in the Boston area and there aren’t really any street signs to begin with.

So why is it that more people don’t reach out and help other people? Even if you don’t care about it being the right thing to do, I have to think that everyone likes endorphins. And there’s no better rush than knowing that you made a difference for someone, even if in just a small way. Are we all just so wrapped up in our own little worlds? Do we spend too much time looking down on the bus and not enough time looking up to see the elderly woman attempting to not fall ass over teakettle onto her walker? I know that I have often been guilty of inward thinking unawareness. But you’d think that the law of averages would dictate that there had to be at least someone who would say, “hey, that person looks like they could use a hand, it sure would feel nice to help them.”

Or maybe we really are just a bunch of bastards.

Sometimes, I think that walking around not punching people in the face is kindness enough for one day.