I woke up at 8:15 this morning. By 8:20, I had my laptop open and was checking email. What can I say? I’m a geek. Please don’t judge me. I noticed an email with details about the training that I’m taking this week. There was an attachment with details. I realized that I never read it, so I opened it.
*Hope opens attachment*
*Hope reads the first line*
“Training will begin at 8:30am on Monday, March 19th.
*Hope looks at the time… 8:22*
“Shit! Fuck! Shitfuck!”
I somehow managed to make it to the class, only five minutes late. That ten minute walk to work really is a life-saver. Anyways, all of this a really roundabout way of saying that I found myself, sometime around 9 o’clock tonight, realizing that I just might have neglected to put on deodorant this morning.
I definitely did not take a shower.
A shower was of the utmost importance. So, I turned up the hot water and prepared to de-stinkify myself. I noticed that one of our rubber duckies was sitting in the tub. A rubber duck that, appropriately enough, is shaped like a little red devil. I bent down to return the naughty water fowl to its rightful place on the shelf next to the tub.
*Smack!*
That is the sounds of my head hitting the windowsill. (Yes, we have a window next to our shower.) (Yes, we have a very thick shade that keeps people from seeing me naked, with shampoo in my eyes.) The clever mallard had lured me into a trap! He had distracted me with his misplacedness and I took the bait and proceeded to make a rather large dent in my forehead. Kristian assures me that my forehead looks fine, there are no dents, lumps, bumps or bruises. Only a slightly red mark, which could easily have been caused by the fact that I like to crank my shower temperature up to “lava.”
That damn duck is still smirking at me.
Smirk now devil ducky… but your time will come
Don’t beat yourself up over the e-mail – I’ve had to leave my laptop downstairs so I actually get up out of bed in the morning… 😛