Beans and I went shopping together at Whole Foods today. After getting a few quizzical looks, I realized that we probably looked like a lesbian couple and for some reason people were trying to figure us out. The funny thing is, we both thought that we were the more butch looking one.
It’s also entirely possible that I had something stuck to me and people were wondering if they should say something.
I was mildly excited to read about the new Cash for Clunkers program where you can trade in an old gas guzzler and get a credit towards the purchase of something shinier. And more fuel efficient. But, mostly, shinier. I kindof love my truck in the way that I used to love boyfriends that were all wrong for me. It handles like shit, the suspension is shot so speed bumps are always exciting in that “will my head hit the roof of my truck” sort of way, it’s hard to shift, it has no tachometer, it’s literally impossible to drive in the snow and the passenger seat only has two positions: straight up and down or homeboy style.
And yet I love it.
I used to have terrible taste in men and now (apparently) have terrible taste in vehicles.
But for $4500 towards something more modern and efficient? I would totally get a cute little station wagon and never look back. We’d figure out some way to get stuff home from home depot. Hey, if people in third world countries can cart goats around on motorcycles (I have witnessed this phenomenon with my own two eyes), we could cart home drywall in a station wagon.
Unfortunately, my truck doesn’t qualify.
Because it’s too fuel efficient.
Ha.
Seriously.
I’m not kidding.
In order to qualify as a clunker, my truck would need to get a combined (city and highway) 18mpg or worse. According to the federal government, it gets 23 mpg, which kindof makes me want to laugh so hard that I pee myself. If I’m supposed to get 23mpg with this thing, then the people driving Hummers must have to stop every other block to fill up their enormous gas tanks. My truck is a clunker in every sense of the word except for the sense where I get $4500 towards the purchase of some new hotness. In that sense, it fails abysmally at being a clunker.
Silly me, I intentionally looked for a truck that got good gas mileage.
Or should I say, “good?” It’s still a pickup truck that we’re talking about.
And, yet, I am secretly pleased to not feel the need to trade it in for something else.
For those of you who are currently calculating my carbon footprint, please bear in mind that we have put exactly four tanks of gas into it. In the year that we’ve owned it.
Yeah, I’m not exactly big on that whole “driving to work” thing.
I ordered a folding bike and it showed up today. For fifty bucks (plus shipping) it’s not bad, but it’s definitely bulkier and a little more unwieldy than I had expected. I’m hoping that it will be a good option for days when I want to bike to work and then meet up with Kristian later.
Speaking of not wanting to take public transportation… I spent something like two hours on the T this evening. Apparently there was a broken train ahead of us and so I sat in the Davis Square stop for some ridiculous amount of time and then we sloooooooowly headed downtown. If I didn’t hate driving so much, I would have gone home and started researching a new car purchase.
As it is, I totally want to buy a better folding bike now.
And a puppy.
And a friend for the puppy.
The puppy has nothing to do with the MBTA, my POS truck or biking. I just like puppies.
But how cute would it be if it rode around in a basket on the front of my bike?
Note to self: purchase basket for the front of your bike.
And a puppy.
No, I’m not drunk. I’m just really tired. Spending 17 hours on the red line really didn’t help.
“I used to have terrible taste in men” …. ouch?