In order to buy our house, Kristian and I had to purchase flood insurance. Anyone who has been on our street is laughing right now. If it were any flatter, we’d be in Kansas. The closest body of water is a pond and it’s over a mile away.
We’re paying ‘A’ rates which is the highest possible rate. It’s the same rate that people living in post-Katrina New Orleans pay. Once again, I remind you, flat street. No nearby bodies of water. People who live atop hills in New Orleans probably pay less for flood insurance than we do. We pay more for flood insurance than I paid for my truck. You could fly pretty much anywhere in the world for what we pay for flood insurance. Two years worth of flood insurance would pay for that ticket to be first class.
And they’re acting like we built our house on top of a levee and then proceeded to taunt Poseidon.
Well, I’ll you Mr. Bank/Insurance Man. I can taunt Poseidon all I want because our house is just not susceptible to floods and there’s nothing he can do to get at me. Eff you Poseidon, you can’t touch my house.
(Remind me not to go swimming in the ocean this summer).
In order to make our payments vaguely affordable, we have the highest possible deductible. In order to actually make use of our flood insurance, our house would pretty much need to be swept away by a tidal wave. Which just brings us back to Poseidon and his inability to get anywhere near us.
If we were able to make use of our flood insurance, it would mean that we would all have much bigger problems. Namely, the entire Eastern Seaboard being entirely under water.
Perhaps this is just a precaution for global warming and the subsequent creation of beach-front property right where we live. All I know is, none of our neighbors have to pay for flood insurance. The previous owners never paid for flood insurance (They never paid for much of anything if all of the back taxes, past-due water bills and near foreclosure are any indication. But that’s another story). And, somehow, our bank has it written on a little sheet of paper that our house is in as much danger as if it was seated on stilts. Rickety stilts.
It’s actually going to be cheaper in the long run to spend over a thousand bucks to hire an engineer and fight the designation. We have a decent chance of winning.
Which will probably be about the time that we get swept away by a tidal wave.
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This is tragically HILARIOUS. (Basically, you’re Shakespeare.)
i was out kayaking by my house and fell in love with a cute little cape on the water there… it’s for sale but of course about 4 times what i could afford 🙂 was wondering about flood insurance or if you can even get it when your back door is 50ft from a river! it’s so incredibly nuts that you need flood insurance for your house. i wonder if they know something about the water table around there that we don’t? maybe they diverted a stream or something. odd that it’s different than your neighbours, though.