A Thanksgiving to Remember -or- The Post Where Hope Writes Too Much

This morning Kristian and I woke up early. Well, early for us when we don’t have to be anywhere in the morning. So, you know, 10ish. Maybe 10:30ish.

We went to the gym, because we knew that we would be gluttons and we wanted to mitigate some of the damage. Like good Americans, we drove… even though it was walking distance. In our defense, it was raining. A lot. In the car on the way there I thought, “who goes to the gym on Thanksgiving Day?”

To answer that question, a lot of people. A lot of people with crazy eyes. The woman on the bike across from me was peddling like a mad woman. The woman on the Precor Machine next to me was going so fast I thought that she was going to take off on that thing. I think that a lot of the people there were thinking the same thing as me, “another ten minutes, and I can have a second piece of pie.”

I did a half hour or so of cardio and lifted a few weights. Then we went home. My mom’s car was parked in the driveway. Erp.

“Oh God,” I thought, “at the tender age of 25, I’ve gone senile.”

I distinctly remembered my mom telling me that she would pick me up at quarter of one. It was only about 11:30. How was I almost two hours off in the pickup time? Luckily, I don’t need to order a massive supply of Ginkgo Biloba. My family changed the dinner time and I never got the message. Apparently I should maybe check my voice mail every now and then.

I would have look absolutely fabulous at the dinner table in my exercise top and stretch pants. But, the smell might have been a bit rude. So, Kristian graciously agreed to drive me to my Aunt’s house so that I could take a shower and put on real clothes. I managed to clean myself up quite nicely I think.

As you can see, my Uncle doesn’t think so.

The rest of the day was pretty much uneventful. A lot of food was eaten. Phone calls to family member who weren’t there were made. Embarrassing stories were told. The passive voice was overused in this paragraph.

I took about 300 photos today. Unfortunately for all of you, they’re not that interesting to anyone who’s not in my immediate family (in all fairness, there are about 3,417 people in my immediate family). Fortunately for all of you, I’m only going to post the funny pictures. All three of them. Including the one above of me with my Uncle.

We put the fun in dysfunctional. We also like to steal jokes from tshirts

After the fun was over at my Aunt’s house, I jumped on the T to go see my Dad and his family. Well, I tried to jump on the T, but one of the stupid automated machines ate my Charlie Card. I am now convinced that high level officials at the MBTA have been paid off by auto and oil execs to make the T service so god awful that we Bostonians finally lose patience and all go running to the nearest auto dealership to buy fancy new cars that require premium unleaded.

After getting a form to fill out later to hopefully get my money refunded (the man working at the station was also nice enough to comp me), I made my way over to my Dad’s house. They were just sitting down to their own Turkey dinner. I could have been a true glutton and had a second meal, but I was already feeling full to bursting, so I “limited” myself to having a second round of dessert with them.

Note to self: you probably should have spent an extra six hours on the treadmill at the gym today. Of course, the gym was only open for five hours today. So, you probably should have had at least one less piece of pie. Also, talking to yourself is not a good sign. You should probably stop doing that.

My step-uncle showing how turkey should really be eaten.

The rest of the night was filled with blonde jokes, drummer jokes, sparkling cider and egg nog. My step-uncle explained to his daughter that I was “really her cousin, but more like her aunt” (she’s only three). I made a joke about how it was better to to be an ausin than a caunt. All of the kids at the table laughed. I am going to hell.

I’m now back in our messy apartment (in our absence, the cats decided to celebrate the holiday by knocking everything that we own onto the floor). Kristian is staying with his folks tonight, so I watched Elf on tv (there is clearly something wrong with me, because I got a little teary at the end) and ruined the scarf that I was knitting (Note to self: when you get frustrated, step away from the scarf. While tearing out every single stitch might feel good at the time, it’s not fun to reknit what you already spent a few hours working on).

I also decided that if I was in for a penny, then I might as well be in for a pound (pun intended, *sniff*). I ate an entire box of milk duds while watching my movie. If I start early, I might be able to get a sold 12 hours on the treadmill tomorrow.