February 2018
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A Natural Disaster of Culinary Proportions

I’ve decided that one of my new life rules is to avoid eating any foods that have catastrophic names. That means that steak bombs… are out. Dairy Queen Blizzards… are out. Molten chocolate cake… is possibly out. I mean, the sheer amount of delicious, delicious chocolate should probably give it a pass. Plus, metal is molten and there’s nothing disastrous about that.

Lava on the other hand…

But I digress. A lot. This is what happens when you write up a blog post while anxiously waiting for Kristian to finish dinner (I offered to help! I swear! He felt bad about the three hours that I spent commuting today! He’s just nice like that! I’m not really dead weight in the cooking department! I swear!).

So, if disastrous foods are out, that certainly eliminates the Bacon Explosion. Which would probably be eliminated by my cardiologist. If I had a cardiologist. Which I don’t. Because I’m only 27 years old. And I don’t eat things like the Bacon Explosion.

Oh, yes, the Bacon Explosion. Bacon wrapped in sausage. Wrapped in more bacon. Covered in BBQ sauce. Admittedly, it sounds rather tasty. Tasty like a heart attack. 

A tasty, tasty heart attack.

9 comments to A Natural Disaster of Culinary Proportions

  • I don’t care that much about bacon (I know, I know), but I do enjoy a good chocolaty treat… every 10 minutes or so.

    I can’t remember how I found your blow, but I find it very entertaining… I too am a professional dork, and I dig your sense of humor.

    So I thought it was about time I actually commented, because I often giggle to myself reading here.

  • Do you have some? I think I’d have to taste-test… but it sounds like salty goodness.

    And if I could type, it would have said blog, not blow…

  • I’ve never had chocolate covered bacon, but I imagine that it’s either truly horrible or truly delicious. I’ve heard people say both things about it.

  • I can’t speak to the merits of the Bacon Explosion (I suspect it is delicious), but I can say that Dairy Queen Blizzards are a special kind of wonderful, the likes of which it would be a woeful shame to forgo on name alone.

  • No, you can’t leave the Blizzard out. It’s the single best ice cream based dessert you can eat. But, they don’t make them right here in NE. You have to head west to get them made the right way!

  • Scarily enough I have tried bacon chocolate (Vosges chocolate) and it is actually tasty. Weird but tasty…

  • Well, my disastrous rule was a bit tongue in cheek, but I stand corrected on the Blizzard. 😉

  • NancyH

    hmm there used to be an amazing thing called “Cinnamon Oblivion” at the Outback. sadly, it’s gone, or it might have fallen under your rule.

    and i’m a huge fan of Blizzards. but i’m also Canadian, a Blizzard doesn’t quite qualify as a natural disaster :p

  • Interesting philosophy! Although I don’t think anything with bacon can be bad (except for the cholesterol factor!)

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