A Winnar is Me

This year, Kristian and I will be attending Jenn(ie)’s wedding down in DC. We’re flying out tonight and, as a result, won’t be celebrating Halloween this year. Now, normally I would be pretty bummed to miss out on my most favorite of all holidays. However, Jenn(ie) is one of my most favorite of all people. I will gladly forgo the chance to drink and eat fun-sized candies in costume in order to see her get hitched.

And now I’m getting all emotional thinking about her big day.

Note to self: wear waterproof mascara tomorrow.

Anyhoo, all of this is just lead up to say that, when one of Kristian’s clients invited us to their company party Thursday, I jumped on the chance. They wanted me to sing with the band and I was going to get a chance to dress up in costume. And there would be candy.

Oh hells yeah.

The band and I did pretty well, considering that we didn’t really practice. And by “didn’t really practice” I mean that Kristian and I stopped by when they were practicing one night, I sang a few songs with them and then we played those same songs for the party. So, props to us. Someone asked us if I do this sort of thing often. Crash random company parties? No. Sing in public? Why yes! Would you like to pre-order a copy of my album?

Because I am a fan of topical costumes, I went to the party dressed as Sarah Palin. I wore an old-fashioned suit, a tiara and a sash that said “MAVERICK.” I thought that it was a funny costume, but not an overly impressive one. I mean, I put it together at 10pm the night before. And I didn’t even have an American flag pin for my lapel. 

I also didn’t have $150,000 to spend on a new wardrobe, so I suppose that it all evens out. 

Well, I won like 5th runner up in the costume contest! Considering that the contest was judged by children and the main winners were all their parents, I would say that 5th runner up is pretty impressive. The runners up all had some adult influence in the judging department. That and the fact that the prize that I won was $50, I have decided to declare that I am a winner. A winnar is me. Woo hoo. 

I love costumes that allow me to play a character. I suppose that “sexy nurse” could be a character, but enh, it’s boring. I had an awesome time walking around the party saying stuff like “I can see Russia from my house!” Apparently I got the accent down. I even got the band to sing “Sweet Home Alaska” instead of “Sweet Home Alabama.”

I thought that the best costume was the drunken clown. Who started off as a fake drunken clown and then got more and more into character as the night went on. If’n you know what I mean. He had a rainbow wig, red nose, big shoes and then he wore a wife beater with his tattoos showing. His big plastic shoes caused him to slide all over the place, which just added to the vraisemblance. The fact that there were a bunch of kids in costume running around made it that much more inappropriate and completely hilarious. Every time he did something ridiculous, he would shout out “I’m available for your children’s parties!”

There was also a woman there dressed like Cruella Deville and a small child dressed like a Dalmatian.  Total coincidence. This could have devolved into tears, but the Dalmatian took it all in stride.

I love watching other people’s children get all hepped up on sugar. They all got goodie bags, there were bowls of candy everywhere and there was a pinata. Some of those kids were practically levitating, they were vibrating like hummingbirds. I don’t think that their parents appreciated my offer to complete the effect by handing out shots of espresso. 

Anyways, between the costume contest, the candy corn and the orange cupcakes (from Costco… those things hardly qualify as cupcakes as they are the size of my head), I think that I got all of this Halloween stuff out of my system. If not, most of my coworkers brought in treats today. So, out with the old (Halloween) and in with the new (Jenn(ie)’s wedding).

And for all you Joe Six-Packs playing drinking games at home….

MAVERICK!