I had all sorts of ideas about what I was going to do this afternoon. Put a dent in my thesis research. Tackle the mountain of laundry on our dining room table that is threatening to bury us all in an avalanche. Call and schedule a vet appointment for Gracie and a PT appointment for myself.
Instead, Lilian woke up early from her afternoon nap and I nursed her and then let her fall asleep in my arms. It seemed so nice, I decided to join her and we took a nap together on the couch. I figured she’d wake me up after a half hour or so, but we ended up sleeping for a couple of hours. I woke up and it was totally dark outside and she was still snoozing happily.
I’m still new to this whole parenting gig, but it seems like some of the best moments are the times when I let everything go and just enjoy where things take us. I need to work on my thesis, but I also have to go back to work next week (sob!). Taking the afternoon to snuggle with my baby is more important than being “productive.”
If I could bottle up memories for later appreciation, napping with my baby would be at the top of my list. The way she burrows into my shoulder. The way we’re all warm and cozy under a handmade quilt. The way she still has a faint air of new baby smell. Twenty years from now, I’m not going to care about how well I folded my laundry. But I will care that I spent as much time as possible with my little love during her precious baby years.
(She ended up sleeping for most of the evening as well).
(Hooray for growth spurts).
(So we won’t be dying under a pile of mismatched socks anytime soon).
I’m a little terrified that all of her napping today is going to make for a rough night. But Facebook and Google assure me that hibernation and growth spurts go together like peanut butter and chocolate. I thought my little baby was looking a little less little this morning. She fell asleep at her normal time, so fingers crossed that we don’t have a rough night.
I am probably jinxing myself by putting this in writing, but I think she’s starting to sleep through the night. We’ve had a couple of nights where she demanded to be fed at 4am, but the past week has seen quite a few days where I put her down for bed at a reasonable hour and she slept through until the next morning. The first time was a bit of a shock, but now I’m almost starting to expect it. It’s nice to go to bed and not have to steel yourself for interrupted sleep and nighttime screaming.
How did we do it? Mostly, she’s old enough and big enough that she doesn’t need those extra feedings. But, I also made a couple of small adjustments after reading Richard Ferber’s book.
(I know the book is hugely controversial, but hear me out).
Most of what’s in the book isn’t really applicable to us. And Lilian is too young for most of the rest. But one thing that did make sense is that you should try and get your kid to fall asleep under the same conditions that they will be sleeping through. We all wake up periodically throughout the night, but it’s so brief, we don’t remember. When your baby falls asleep in your arms in a rocking chair and wakes up by herself in her crib, it’s like you fell asleep in your bed and then woke up on the floor in the living room. It’s confusing and unsettling and usually results in them screaming to rock them back to sleep in the rocking chair.
(How did this turn into a blog post about the Ferber method? I took a left turn back there somewhere.)
We weren’t doing anything heroic to get Lilian to sleep. But I did have a stuffed animal with a white noise generator in it that I was putting on when I put her down. And I often held her for a good 10-15 minutes after she conked out. The white noise stops after 20 minutes and I obviously wasn’t holding Lilian all night. So, I think she was waking up to an oddly quiet room and then calling out for me.
No more white noise generator and now I put her down as soon as she starts falling asleep. It might just be a coincidence, but maybe it made a difference. I almost don’t care. Because I got eight hours of sleep the other night and I haven’t slept like that in months. It’s a pretty awesome feeling. A girl could get used to it.