We are still staying with my Mom and my Step-Dad. Woo hoo. Because Kristian and my Mom are both big coffee drinkers (of the “couldn’t be held accountable for murder if not fully caffeinated” variety), my Mom broke out the big guns and pulled out their 12 cup coffee maker. Because the plain plastic coffee filter system was just not going to cut it. We needed the full force caffeine delivery system.
Well, I used to be a pretty heavy coffee drinker. And then I discovered that caffeine made me OMFGeffingCrazy. So I switched to decaf. And, suddenly, I was no longer a coffee snob. I realized that I was pretty much content to drink Nescafé. Flavored Nescafé, even. One would think that, without the allure of sweet, sweet Miss Caffeine, that I would be more concerned with quality and flavor. The point of coffee was not the buzz, but the coffee itself. Or something like that.
Well, I do like my coffee to have flavor, but that flavor is now French Vanilla.
I still like me a well made latte, however.
So, Kristian can have his perfectly roasted, ground-up-just-so coffee beans, lovingly percolated and served just so. I’ll take my flavored instant coffee out of a canister. It’ll probably give me cancer, but we’re all going to end up with cancer, anyways. At least I won’t have had to wait for my coffee.
This morning, for maybe the first time in my life, I was the first person up and about. I decided to be nice and start the coffee. I figured that Kristian and my Mom would appreciate it. I’m nice like that. Occasionally. So, I setup the coffee maker to brew six cups…. except that it only brewed four cups. There were enough coffee grounds in there for six. You do the math.
Apparently, I inadvertently brewed rocket fuel. Whoops.
Kristian warned my Mom, “I made mine with 2/3 coffee and 1/3 hot water.” The warning was apparently not sufficient because, even in its watered down state, the first sip of the coffee liquid plutonium made my Mom’s eyes bug out of her head like she was in a Bugs Bunny cartoon.
“Well,” she said, “it looks like I’m going to have a productive day, today.”
And then her head started swiveling around on her neck like she was Linda Blair, possessed by a coffee demon. I’m sure that she had a hell of a morning, but I’m sure as hell glad that I wasn’t around when she finally crashed. I hope that the whole process involved a nap.
Me? I went off to work, where I brewed a cup of decaf using the little foil cup system that we have at work and then flavored my coffee with sugar-free, dairy-free french vanilla coffee “creamer.”
It’ll probably give me cancer.
But it was tasty.
Oh my that made my morning! Thanks!
I dunno, I guess this is why I don’t drink coffee, but that sounds like about the right proportions to me – like mud. Hilarious retelling, I was laughing out loud in the lab.