Girl Madeupname writes:
Dear Geeky Girl,
My friends keep telling me about this concept called netiquette. What does that mean? Am I supposed to be sticking my pinky finger out when writing about tea party candidates? Because then I can’t hit the shift key or the apostrophe.
Thanks!
PS. You have such pretty hair
No no, thank you. I’m having a bad hair day.
(Sometimes it’s nice to make up your own questions).
Netiquette is a term made up by people who like to mash words that sound similar together because it makes them feel witty. These are the people who brought us frenemies and frogurts. It’s a standard for behaving online that doesn’t make other people want to take your internet connection away and replace it with a typewriter and a few passenger pigeons. Basically, don’t be this guy:
(Nobody likes a troll).
(Even one with pink hair).
Netiquette falls into two basic categories: 1) Things you do to protect other people’s private information and b) Things you do to not piss other people off. Point 1 is really a subsection of point B. Because, honestly, has anyone ever not been pissed off when someone shared out their private information?
(No, Paris Hilton doesn’t count).
Point 1 is easily addressed. Don’t write “Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!” on your friend’s wall before she tells her parents. Don’t tag your girlfriend in that photo of her doing kegstands. In fact, don’t post that picture of her doing kegstands without asking first. Don’t put anything on Facebook that you would be too embarrassed to say on a crowded bus or in front of their parents. Don’t send out an email with 50 people CC’ed on it. Unless you’re writing to your five closest friends and they all know each other’s email addresses, BCC is your very best friend. Think of BCC like that puppy that your parents wouldn’t get you when you were young. You like BCC. Show BCC how much you care by using it all the time.
CCing 100 people on an email is one of the reasons that spammers know where to send us our Cialis ads. It also forces me to read every single reply from the people who don’t know the difference between reply and reply-all.
Speaking of which, unless everybody needs to know what you’re writing (for instance, because the donuts are in the kitchen and not in the break room as previously advertised), don’t reply-all. Hit reply. Save everyone the email clutter.
The other form of netiquette is not pissing people off online. Which is mostly accomplished by using the same courtesies that you would in every day life. Don’t let the series of tubes in between you and the person you’re talking with distract you from social niceties. For example, NOBODY LIKES A SHOUTER. Caps lock is for people who don’t know how to use the shift key. In that vein, don’t use the high importance flag. And you can just forget about read receipts. If it’s that urgent, pick up the phone and call. I can see the use of read receipts in certain CYA situations, but in most cases they’re just going to annoy whoever you’re emailing.
Beyond that, most netiquette is more about personal standards than it is about generally accepted practices. Some people will tell you that it’s a cardinal sin to post a long block of text with no carriage returns in it. Personally, I can’t read anything that doesn’t use enough white space (see, Hope’s blog, gratuitous carriage returns in).
(Also see the section on parentheticals).
(Specifically? Dubious implementation of).
(Also? Questionable use of question marks).
But, the fact of the matter is, if you wouldn’t know how to hit the enter key on your keyboard if it SWITCHED PLACES WITH YOUR CAPS LOCK, I’m going going to skip right over whatever you wrote. SHOUTING? SHOUTING IS SOMETHING I CAN’T DEAL WITH.
It’s not exactly rd 2 wrt evrythng in txt spk. Bt it will break yr scnd grd teachrs heart.
I’m sure that there are plenty of internet etiquette (ietiquette?) rules that I am forgetting. Please feel free to tell me all about them in the comments section.
(But, please, try and keep your voices down).
Some days I want to create an Inbox rule that automatically deletes anything marked high importance. I can’t remember ever getting a high importance email that was actually important.
I have a rule that automatically strips out importance flags. I had to create it because one woman sent *every single email* with the high importance flag.
It’s the only reason I’m not currently on trial for 2nd degree murder.
I think that might be justified. I could see building a defense around insanity by importance flags.
Hey, the guy who murdered Harvey Milk managed to use the Twinkie Defense. And I’d make a much more sympathetic (and infinitely less homophobic) defendant!
I am emailing this to everyone.
Thank you!