My sister, Allison, and I were talking about some of my craziness when I was younger and it got me thinking. There are so many things that I know now that I wish I’d had even an inkling of back then. And I’m not just talking winning lottery numbers. I was what you’d call “sensitive.” And by “sensitive,” I mean “more than a little crazy.”
I managed to work things out, but it wasn’t exactly a walk in the park. It would be nice to go back and tell myself a few things. The least of which would be “Stop eating so many damn Oreos. You won’t have this metabolism for ever. And it’s going to take you way too long to figure that out.”
Dear Hope,
You’re smart, but you’re a little too smart for your own good. Learn to shut your brain off without resorting to illicit substances. Meditation is not as dumb as you think it is. Neither is yoga. Try some deep breathing. If you hate it, you can always go back to flipping the fuck out when things get the least bit difficult. Trust me when I say that learning to chill out all on your lonesome is a lot more effective.
As much as it pains you to consider it, high school relationships won’t usually last past the second week of college. In your case, you won’t even make it through the Summer. Don’t orient your life around a boy. It’s just going to make it that much harder for you when he dumps your ass. Contrary to your current mode of thinking, clinginess makes you less attractive. Don’t hold on so tightly or you’re going to find yourself alone.
There is a guy out there for you and he is worth the wait. It’s going to be a slightly longer wait than you would like, but you’re not going to wind up as a crazy cat lady. Don’t try and make every guy you date into “the guy.” It’s better to be single than to be in a bad relationship. Hanging on to bad boyfriends just distracts you from the great guys that are out there.
Sugar makes you moody. Eating nothing but sugar gives you mood swings. Stop and ask yourself, “Do I really want to throw things at my sisters? Or am I hungry?” Nine times out of eight, you’re hungry.
In that vein, ask yourself, “Do I want to be right? Or do I want to be happy?”
You want to be happy.
Trust me on that one.
Learn to let the little stuff go. You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. Or something stupid like that. You know how you really catch the flies? By not being a judgmental know-it-all. Flies hate that. So do most people. It pays to be right when the question is “how do we stop this runaway train?” or “how do we defend ourselves against this angry bear?” It doesn’t matter quite so much when it comes to differences of opinion.
Life has good things in store for you. You just need to chill the fuck out long enough to appreciate them.
Love,
Hope.
PS. I’m not kidding about the Oreos.
If you could tell yourself at 16 anything, what would it be?
I think I could copy that letter word for word and send it to my 16 year old self. I was also “more than a little crazy.” I’m not sure I’ve worked it out though, I pretty much just medicate it out of me. Does that count?
As long as it’s under control, it totally counts!
Sounds like very sound advice. Except for the meditation stuff. Makes me flip out!
The important question is if you would have taken that letter seriously at 16. Would the tips have any impact without the hard lessons of living through them?
Good point! There’s probably a 50/50 chance that I would have listened. :p