Note: The following post contains mushiness in all of its mushiest mushy glory. It will also shatter all of your illusions that Kristian and I sleep in twin beds all Hollywood in the 1930s style. You have been duly warned.
This past year, I have been a bad sleeper. Such a bad sleeper, I make colicky babies look like Rip Van Winkle. I sleep with an eye-mask, a la Holly Golightly. I keep earplugs on my nightstand “just in case.” I avoid caffeine in all of its forms. I exercise religiously. I try to never exercise within two hours of when I plan to go to bed. I have attempted (unsuccessfully) to subliminally convince our neighbor to get rid of his motorcycle.
And yet? I often find myself staring at my alarm clock, willing myself to slumber. Listening to Kristian snore and trying really, really hard not to mentally calculate the maximum number of hours of sleep that I could get if I would just fall asleep now, now, nownownow OMG please, right now.
Yes, I am aware that it is counterproductive to do any alarm clock staring, maximum sleepage calculating.
I never said I was perfect.
What I’ve taken to doing this year is to take all of that mental energy that would otherwise be spent in agonizing and steer it towards appreciating. Because I am a total bowl of mush (all we need is a comb, a brush, an old lady whispering hush and we could have ourselves a Goodnight Moon), I often find myself appreciating Kristian. And practicing deep breathing. But, mostly, appreciating Kristian.
I remind myself how lucky I am to by lying in bed next to someone that I love so completely. Someone who loves me completely. Someone who treats me better than I could ever have imagined (or probably deserve). Because I am a total drama queen, I often remind myself about the fragility of life. That there is no guarantee that we will be lying like this tomorrow night. Sure, it’s a little macabre. But it’s a good reminder to appreciate things when you have them. To savor those precious moments.
To not smother your boyfriend with a pillow to get him to stop snoring.
That, my friends, was my best moment of peace in 2009. And the best part about it was that it happened almost every night. Except for the nights were I was sleeping. And those were pretty sweet, too.
I just punch my husband in the head.
Nothing says “I love you!” like a nice punch in the head! Although I am rather fond of kicking as well.
when we went to switzerland we were all sleeping in the same room most of the time. and i’d be happily lying there listening to my honey snore and thinking what a cozy home-y happy love-man sound that was, but then i’d remember that if he thought he was bothering other people he’d be mortified and so i’d try to get him to roll over.
aww, this was really sweet.
Awwwww…
(P.S — My husband lost 40 lbs. and rarely snores anymore. If he is snoring, I realized that if I rub his back, it will change his breathing pattern and he’ll stop. It’s like he gets stuck in this shallow breathing snore thing. Usually I’m not that patient though, I just elbow him until he wakes up and then tell him “you’re snoring” like he can magically stop it.)
(P.P.S — Can Kristian go from wide awake to snoring in about 2.2 seconds? James does that and it drives me CRAZY.)
It’s more like about 17 seconds, but yeah, I have no idea how he manages to do that. :p