{"id":795,"date":"2009-01-16T14:50:57","date_gmt":"2009-01-16T19:50:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/?p=795"},"modified":"2009-01-16T14:59:56","modified_gmt":"2009-01-16T19:59:56","slug":"the-owl-porn-that-wasnt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/the-owl-porn-that-wasnt\/","title":{"rendered":"The Owl Porn that Wasn’t"},"content":{"rendered":"

So, my sister sent me this link today:<\/p>\n

<\/object><\/p>\n

My response was, “Did you just send me owl porn….? Also, owl sex doesn’t look like all that much fun.”<\/p>\n

Well, apparently she didn’t send me owl porn. She sent me what some woman thinks<\/em> is owl porn. I don’t know if that makes it less awesome or way more awesome. It’s like the blooper reel of owl porn. Not that I’ve ever, you know, seen any porn blooper reels or anything. My chastely virgin eyes would just explode at the sight of it.<\/p>\n

It also goes to show you that anything looks dirty when you play the right music in the background. Even a video two owls walking all over each other.\u00a0<\/p>\n

No, apparently those owls are just cuddling.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Or at least that’s what they told their little owlings when they walked in on them. “This isn’t what it looks like! Mommy just had an owie on her back, so Daddy is walking all over it to make her feel better. Now go back to sleep.”<\/p>\n

Yeah, I know, Owls don’t sleep at night. They also don’t have to lie to their babies about owl sex. \u00a0Owls have the life, man.<\/p>\n

My sister informs me baby owls are called nestlings.\u00a0<\/p>\n

See? I’m just a wealth<\/em> of information today.\u00a0<\/p>\n

She also informs me that those two owls really are<\/em> just cuddling.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I don’t know, if I had talons, I’m not sure that I would be all that into cuddling.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So, my sister sent me this link today: My response was, “Did you just send me owl porn….? Also, owl sex doesn’t look like all that much fun.” Well, apparently…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2,19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-795","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random","category-the-great-blog-off"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5yggS-cP","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/795","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=795"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/795\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":798,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/795\/revisions\/798"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=795"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=795"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=795"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}