{"id":75,"date":"2006-08-08T14:45:25","date_gmt":"2006-08-08T19:45:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/?p=75"},"modified":"2011-03-18T07:44:13","modified_gmt":"2011-03-18T11:44:13","slug":"penis-enlargement-and-bright-orange-vomit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/penis-enlargement-and-bright-orange-vomit\/","title":{"rendered":"Penis Enlargement and Bright Orange Vomit"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A lovely thought, no?<\/p>\n<p>I keep getting excited today to get emails saying &#8220;you need to moderate comments&#8221; because, hooray, people have been leaving me comments. Only, replace &#8220;people&#8221; with &#8220;spam bots&#8221; and &#8220;comments&#8221; with &#8220;advertisement for penis enlargement&#8221; and you would have a much more accurate picture.<\/p>\n<p>Why do these people even bother? Do they really get a lot of business from people who are reading through random blogs and then see their advertisements-couched-as-comments and think, &#8220;you know what I want to do? I want to enlarge my penis. I think that I will click on this link and buy this person&#8217;s product off of the intarwebnet.&#8221; Because, you know, nobody ever sells <em>fake<\/em> penis enlargement products on the internet.<\/p>\n<p>I think that I have just doomed myself to even more penis enlargement spam by typing out the words &#8220;penis enlargement&#8221; so many times. But, hey, maybe I will just get more hits from all of the people out there who apparently look to the internet for all of their penis enlargement needs. Only my search term stats will tell for sure.<\/p>\n<p>To all of you people who may or not have found my site because you were looking to enlarge your penis: why don&#8217;t you try reading a book instead? I can&#8217;t speak for all of womenkind but I can speak for myself when I say that &#8220;well read&#8221; is a much more attractive quality to me than &#8220;spends a lot of time on the internet looking for ways to make his penis bigger.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Speaking of search terms, it seems that most people who find my website through google are looking for the term, &#8220;bright orange vomit.&#8221; Serves me right for mentioning it so much in my entry <a href=\"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/?p=40\">here<\/a>. (note to the squeamish, that link is somewhat gross). I&#8217;m just wondering, when people come looking for stories about bright orange vomit, do they stay for the penis enlargement jokes? And, who exactly searches for webpages on bright orange vomit, anyways? Enquiring minds would like to know.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A lovely thought, no? I keep getting excited today to get emails saying &#8220;you need to moderate comments&#8221; because, hooray, people have been leaving me comments. Only, replace &#8220;people&#8221; with&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-75","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-grumble","category-random"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5yggS-1d","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=75"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2679,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75\/revisions\/2679"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=75"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=75"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=75"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}