{"id":741,"date":"2009-01-08T15:59:35","date_gmt":"2009-01-08T20:59:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/?p=741"},"modified":"2009-01-08T16:36:38","modified_gmt":"2009-01-08T21:36:38","slug":"my-ears-my-god","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/my-ears-my-god\/","title":{"rendered":"My Ears, My God"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ok, I think that Dustin is seriously trying to kill me<\/a>. How else can you explain making me write about Michael Bubl\u00e9. I didn’t even know who Michael Bubl\u00e9 was. I was a lot happier not knowing who Michael Bubl\u00e9 was. I just listened to some of his catalog in Rhapsody and I think that my ears are bleeding and my imaginary testicles have shriveled up and died. True story, I finished listening to him and had to crank some Guns and Roses just to get the feeling in my extremities back. It probably didn’t help that I was sitting funny and my foot fell asleep.<\/p>\n

So, yeah, I don’t know if Dustin picked “Five Songs that Should be Covered by Michael Bubl\u00e9<\/em>” because he was being ironic or if it’s just because he thinks that Jack Johnson is too hard core. All I know is, I don’t want the man going near any song that I like. Ever.<\/p>\n

He can go ahead and cover some crappy songs, though. Who cares about them?\u00a0<\/p>\n

So, here are my songs, in order of least crappiest to most crappiest. On a scale of one to terrible, I give them all an eleven.<\/p>\n

5. Beyonce – Diva<\/strong>. It’s really a tossup between this song and her other single from her album, If I were a Boy<\/strong>. This song wins because of the sheer stupidity of the lyrics “Na na na Diva is a female version of a hustla. Of a hustla. Of a, of a hustla.<\/em>” When either of these songs comes on the radio when I’m at the gym, it makes me want to beat myself to death with a rack of free weights.\u00a0<\/p>\n

4. Oasis – Wonderwall<\/strong>. Or is it Champagne Supernova<\/strong>? I don’t know. I can never remember which is which. They both suck. Like Clark Kent and Superman, I think that they might be one and the same. Except that Clark Kent and Superman have never sucked.<\/p>\n

3. Celine Dion – My Heart Will Go O<\/strong>n. Ok, this one might be a little funny. I might actually want to listen to this one, just for the train wreck possibilities.\u00a0<\/p>\n

2. Ace of Base – The Sign<\/strong>. Ok, this one would be downright hilarious.\u00a0<\/p>\n

1. Right Said Fred – Too Sexy<\/strong>. Ok, this one would probably make me pee myself. Just a little.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ok, I think that Dustin is seriously trying to kill me. How else can you explain making me write about Michael Bubl\u00e9. I didn’t even know who Michael Bubl\u00e9 was.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5,19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-741","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-music","category-the-great-blog-off"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5yggS-bX","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/741","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=741"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/741\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":744,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/741\/revisions\/744"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=741"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=741"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=741"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}