{"id":3886,"date":"2014-04-11T12:00:20","date_gmt":"2014-04-11T16:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/?p=3886"},"modified":"2014-04-09T22:02:14","modified_gmt":"2014-04-10T02:02:14","slug":"the-cursed-slide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/the-cursed-slide\/","title":{"rendered":"The Cursed Slide"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I drove onto our street the other day, and the first thing I saw was Lilian playing on a little plastic slide that one of our neighbors had put out on the curb.<\/p>\n<p>(Kristian and the dog were supervising her, don&#8217;t worry!)<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s a pretty sweet little setup. It&#8217;s just the right size for her, plus it has a basketball hoop on it. Plus, <em>free<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>(Kristian will probably power wash it this weekend, but it&#8217;s otherwise in fantastic shape).<\/p>\n<p>Lilian loved her new slide so much, she didn&#8217;t want to come inside to eat dinner. She threw an <em>epic<\/em> tantrum about it. Crying, screaming, snot streaming out of both nostrils&#8230; the girl went all <em>boneless<\/em>, knuffle-bunny-style. Kristian and I just stared at each other like &#8220;who replaced our baby with this toddler???&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And then he poured himself a glass of wine. And then I started to wish that maybe I hadn&#8217;t made that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/?p=3860\">diet bet with my sister<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Things got marginally better after LJ remembered that rice isn&#8217;t <em>actually<\/em> poison. At which point she asked for seconds. And thirds. There was some vegetable consumption in there somewhere.<\/p>\n<p>She happily went back outside after dinner. And then there was <em>another<\/em> epic meltdown when she had to come inside for bath and bedtime. She screamed all the way through her bath. Kristian looked so flustered, I ended up taking over for him.<\/p>\n<p>I think she was just having an off night, but Kristian and I were joking that the damn slide was cursed.<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;ve got a week, slide. Trash night is next Tuesday. <\/p>\n<p>Good thing Lilian loves you so much.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/hopers\/13749169844\" title=\"image by Hope Roth, on Flickr\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm3.staticflickr.com\/2900\/13749169844_0215ed44af.jpg?resize=500%2C375&#038;ssl=1\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" alt=\"image\"><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I drove onto our street the other day, and the first thing I saw was Lilian playing on a little plastic slide that one of our neighbors had put out&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3,34,54,4,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3886","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-grumble","category-kristian","category-lj","category-photos","category-random"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5yggS-10G","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3886","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3886"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3886\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3887,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3886\/revisions\/3887"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3886"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3886"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3886"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}