You know you’ve officially gone off the deep end when you willingly pay $200 to be videotaped while running.<\/p>\n
In spandex.<\/p>\n
In slow motion.<\/p>\n
(I’m sure that there is a fetish somewhere that involves slow running and spandex, but it is not one of my predilections).<\/p>\n
I’ll give you all a moment to go off and procure some brain bleach. I know that I now have that image seared into my eye sockets and it’s not going anywhere anytime soon.<\/p>\n
Where was I? Oh yes, the running clinic<\/a> that I attended last night. I met with a physical therapist, a nutritionist, a podiatrist and I ran on a treadmill while they took the aforementioned video of me. They gave me an initial evaluation and I can look forward to getting a comprehensive analysis (and scary DVD!) in the mail.<\/p>\n It felt a lot like I was an elite marathon runner with a team of doctors and physical therapists on staff… At least until they had me get on a treadmill and I got winded after about 5 minutes of jogging.<\/p>\n The physical therapist noted that I had great flexibility in some areas and terrible flexibility in others. I’ll get a list of stretches in my packet, but she did tell me to work on my IT bands and she gave me a great stretch that I’ve never done before. She encouraged me to continue going to yoga and to use my foam roller every night before bed. She didn’t actually come out and say “You’re this tight with<\/em> weekly yoga and nightly stretching? Yikes<\/em>.” But I’m pretty sure she was thinking it. I know that I was!<\/p>\n My butt is weak, which I’m pretty sure makes Sir Mix-a-lot cry.<\/p>\n The nutritionist approved most of my food choices, but he did tell me to cut down further on simple carbs and to add more complex carbs, protein and iron to my diet. We will be cooking more green, leafy vegetables in a cast-iron skillet in our house. He also gave two enthusiastic thumbs up to my post long-run chocolate milk. It’s the perfect way to get in a little protein and calcium and to rebuild my glycogen stores. Which means that I can now say that my beloved chocolate milk is medically proscribed. Healthy and<\/em> tastier than any protein drink\/shake that I’ve tried.<\/p>\n Don’t argue with science!<\/p>\n The podiatrist took one look at my feet before asking me how I manage to run without constantly giving myself stress fractures. Apparently, people with arches as high as mine are not usually able to be become runners. Luckily for me, my incredible flexibility mitigates most of the arch issues. She did recommend that I look into getting custom orthotics. She doesn’t usually recommend them, but she does for freaks of nature like myself.<\/p>\n Major props to Dustin<\/a>, because I’m already wearing the perfect running shoes for my fucked up body mechanics.<\/p>\n Also, everyone who has told me that I should try barefoot running because it cures everything from over-pronation to cancer can now, kindly, STFU. They recommended that I never, ever, never, seriously, don’t even think about it, run barefoot. They actually told everyone else<\/em> at the clinic to run barefoot from time to time. And then they gave me a long stare and said, “But not you. Don’t even think about it.” The director of the clinic is a barefoot runner, so it’s not like they’re deep in the pockets of the sneaker industrial complex.<\/p>\n The video of my treadmill run revealed that I have weak glutes (baby don’t got back), tight\/weak pretty much everything and a slight head bounce. The head bounce seems like the least of my worries, but I’m going to work on running forward and not so much up and down.<\/p>\n All in all, it was an extremely useful experience and I’m glad that I put myself on the waiting list back in November or December. Only four people do the clinic at a time, so you get some serious attention and support. It seems like all of the medical professionals involved are runners as well, and it was helpful to get advice from people who actually understand the crazy that goes into becoming a (semi) serious runner.<\/p>\n If you live in the Boston area and you’re thinking about trying out the clinic, go ahead and put yourself on the waiting list now<\/em>. There were 77 people behind me on the waiting list when I talked to them last week. And they only see 4 people a week. I’m not a math genius, but I’m pretty sure that means that the waiting list is about a million months long. Or 4. Or 5. Like I said, I’m not a math genius. For those of you on the west coast, there’s also a program in San Francisco<\/a>.<\/p>\n Hopefully, this means more running and fewer injuries.<\/p>\n Fingers crossed!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" You know you’ve officially gone off the deep end when you willingly pay $200 to be videotaped while running. In spandex. In slow motion. 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