{"id":2612,"date":"2011-02-24T13:19:36","date_gmt":"2011-02-24T18:19:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/?p=2612"},"modified":"2011-02-24T13:19:36","modified_gmt":"2011-02-24T18:19:36","slug":"blargh-also-giveaway-winners","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/blargh-also-giveaway-winners\/","title":{"rendered":"Blargh. Also, Giveaway Winners!"},"content":{"rendered":"

I used random.org to select winners for last week’s <\/em>giveaway<\/em><\/a> winners. The winners are: Matt, Willy, Sarah S, David and Bellacantare. Congrats to all of you! I sent you all an email yesterday asking for your addresses. Let me know if you didn’t get it.<\/em><\/p>\n

After writing about blogging<\/a> on Monday, I feel the need to write something interesting, funny and compelling today.<\/p>\n

I also feel the need to study the backs of my eyelids at great length.<\/p>\n

These would appear to be incompatible goals.<\/p>\n

I sometimes find sleep deprivation to be an excellent muse. Extreme fatigue makes me sharper… right up to the point where I hit that wall. Unfortunately, I’ve been bashing my head up against said wall for a good chunk of today. I gave up caffeine a long time ago (trust me when I say that Hope + caffeine =\u00a0not<\/em> a pretty sight). Which means that I only have the force of my own will-power and the use of a couple of toothpicks to keep me awake today.<\/p>\n

Also, my innate desire to not be fired. I’m told that employers don’t take too kindly to napping on the job.<\/p>\n

(Unless you work as a mattress tester).<\/p>\n

(Do mattress testers get fired for not<\/em> sleeping on the job? Is there even such a job as a mattress tester? Is anybody even reading this anymore)?<\/p>\n

Anyways, I’m ridonculously tired because I spent the long weekend having fun with my sisters Allison and Christina and not sleeping. It was a fantastic weekend, made even more fantastic by the fact that I didn’t go to work for five days straight. My only regret is that our other sister wasn’t able to join us. I might also regret having consumed that second Jack and Ginger on Saturday night, but that’s neither here nor there.<\/p>\n

Five days is a lot of material to recap in one entry, especially one where I don’t have access to any of the pictures. So, I will give you the highlights.<\/p>\n

(Gallant spends the weekend laughing with his sisters).<\/p>\n

(Goofus spends the weekend making his sisters cry).<\/p>\n

In Which We Amuse Our Waitstaff and Stalk My Friends<\/strong>
\nAllison and her husband, Dustin<\/a>, took a red eye out from California. We went to pick them up at about half past the crack of dawn. Believe it or not, this resulted in nobody getting a decent night’s sleep. I know, I know, I’m shocked myself. What do you do when you’re sleep deprived and punchy? You go out for breakfast and then you draw on the tablecloths.<\/p>\n

Ok, it was a restaurant where the tablecloths are paper and they provide you with crayons. The waitstaff was impressed with our artistic talents. Christina drew a bunch of produce with accompanying puns (“I will beet<\/em> you,” “Endive<\/em> right in!” “I have a zest<\/em> for life.”) while I was content to doodle killer robots and pirate ninjas. They hung our “artwork” up after we left. Because we’re awesome. And who doesn’t love a good endive pun? I think we cracked the waitstaff up the entire time we were there.<\/p>\n

While sitting in the restaurant, I noticed the bassist from my band walking to work. Never one to let a good stalking moment go to waste, I picked up my phone and called him (I could have run outside to say hi, but that’s just so analog).<\/p>\n

“Hey Howie, you’re two minutes late for work!”<\/p>\n

“Uhhh…. Hi Hope.”<\/p>\n

“Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”<\/p>\n

I kid! I kid! (at least as far as the cops know…) He was a good sport and stepped into the restaurant to say hi. We showed him our drawings and I tried not to rub it in that I was about to consume waffles. For waffles are delicious and going to work is not.<\/p>\n

In Which I Ask A Bar To Smell My Hair – And It Does<\/strong>
\nMy band played a gig on Saturday night. Excellent timing, if you ask me, because my sisters usually don’t get to see us play. And by “usually don’t,” I mean, “never.” The band sounded great, the audience got super into it and I wore my new wig. A wig that came smelling like fruity vanilla.<\/p>\n

In other words, my wig smells vaguely like a stripper.<\/p>\n

If you know what a stripper smells like.<\/p>\n

Which I… don’t<\/em>.<\/p>\n

I’m told that they smell nice.<\/p>\n

In an effort to get everyone to appreciate my wig and it’s stripper smelly qualities, I wandered the bar asking people to smell my head. The consensus is that I did, indeed, smell a bit like a stripper. Also, that I look awesome with pink hair.<\/p>\n

(I may have made that last part up).<\/p>\n

The gig went so well, the bar asked us to come back for another gig that isn’t planned 72 hours in advance. The band and I are all looking forward to playing there in March. You’d best believe I will be wearing a wig of some sort.<\/p>\n

In Which We Debate Nature Vs. Nurture While Watching a Lifetime TV Show<\/strong>
\nAs many of you know, I cry at the drop of the hat. As in “Oh no, someone dropped their hat. I’d better cry now.” \u00a0Well, apparently there is a good excuse for this. And that excuse is genetics. Over the course of the weekend, my sisters and I watched a good chunk of the first season of Drop Dead Diva<\/a>. This show is ridiculous. As in, ridiculously awesome (also as in ridiculous<\/em>).\u00a0\u00a0This show is also extremely cheesy. And, at one point, it made all three of us cry. Ridiculous tears of ridiculousness.<\/p>\n

I’m not sure why we were naturally selected to cry so easily. Perhaps saber tooth tigers don’t like their food too salty.<\/p>\n

I suppose it could be a good tactic. The next time someone picks a fight with me, I’m going to cry and then kick them in the shins. I’ll let you all know how that works out.<\/p>\n

All in all, it was a great weekend. At some point, I’ll post some pictures. Until then, I’ll be enjoying my three day work week.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I used random.org to select winners for last week’s giveaway winners. The winners are: Matt, Willy, Sarah S, David and Bellacantare. Congrats to all of you! I sent you all…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[32,8,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2612","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-family","category-random"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5yggS-G8","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2612","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2612"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2612\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2620,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2612\/revisions\/2620"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2612"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2612"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2612"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}