While watching the Super Bowl last night, it struck me that they’ve managed to find sponsors for pretty much everything. You don’t just have halftime, you have halftime sponsored by some giant corporation. You don’t just have a timeout, you have a timeout sponsored by some giant corporation. The players don’t just wear “athletic supporters,” they wear athletic supporters sponsored by some giant corporation.<\/p>\n
(Ok, that last one is an exaggeration).<\/p>\n
(But just barely).<\/p>\n
Ever the jokester, I quipped that I would like to sponsor the gap in between Michael Strahan<\/a>‘s teeth. Which is all very well and good, but what shell corporation am I going to use to fiance this gap-sponsoring venture? I’d use my blog, but I haven’t monetized hoperoth.com and I don’t plan to. All that extra traffic would just force me to pay for more bandwidth. I don’t have a fancy MBA or anything, but even I<\/em> know that’s a piss-poor business plan. “This blog costs me money! I should make it cost me more<\/em> money!”<\/p>\n (Sure, it worked for all those dot-coms back in the day… but I’m not funded by venture capitalists).<\/p>\n (Note to self: find some venture capitalists).<\/p>\n (Note to self: you should probably plan to get them drunk).<\/p>\n Which is when I realized that I need to sponsor the gap in between Michael Stahan’s teeth on behalf of my campaign for the position of Benevolent World Dictator. It makes sense, really. I believe in things like democracy and the will of the people. Which is why I will need everyone to vote<\/em> me into my benevolent office. How do you get votes? Kissing babies and spending a lot of money on TV commercials.<\/p>\n (Note to readers: I was not a poli sci major).<\/p>\n My basic platform is already laid out in this post<\/a>, but I’ll repeat it here. Because I know how to copy and paste like a big girl.<\/p>\n In order to woo a certain Captain of Snack Food, I’ve added a few more items to my platform (darn special interests). The following actions will result in life in prison:<\/p>\n After much thinking (and hitting of the snooze button this morning), I’ve decided to add a few more items to my plank.<\/p>\n So, what say you, oh lovely blog readers? Can I count on your vote?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" While watching the Super Bowl last night, it struck me that they’ve managed to find sponsors for pretty much everything. You don’t just have halftime, you have halftime sponsored by…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[43,2,25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2544","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bwd","category-random","category-sports"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5yggS-F2","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2544","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2544"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2544\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2558,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2544\/revisions\/2558"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2544"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2544"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2544"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n
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