{"id":1999,"date":"2010-05-09T21:24:46","date_gmt":"2010-05-10T02:24:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/?p=1999"},"modified":"2010-05-09T21:24:46","modified_gmt":"2010-05-10T02:24:46","slug":"happy-mothers-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/happy-mothers-day\/","title":{"rendered":"Happy Mothers’ Day!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Happy Mothers’ Day, everyone!<\/p>\n

Apparently, once you get engaged, Mothers’ Day becomes the de facto occasion for everyone to ask you when you’re going to have some kids, already. As in, “So, someday you’ll be celebrating this day yourself, hint hint <\/em>HINT.”<\/p>\n

Kristian would like me to point out that I’m already the “mommy” to two cats and a dog and he thought that getting a dog would shut me up about kids, why hasn’t it shut you up about kids. Because, seriously, I got you a dog woman and I even turn a blind eye when you dress her up for holidays. Even though it demeans us all.<\/p>\n

\"Merry<\/a>
"Maybe if I give her the puppy eyes, she'll take this stupid thing off me."<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

My potential bastard babies aside, we had a lovely day. We managed to double book our Moms, which made me a little bit nervous. The plan was to have Kristian’s family over for lunch and then meet my Mom and Step-Dad for dinner. It made me feel a little bit like one of those guys who schedules two dates for a night and then has to spend the whole evening worrying that his first date will go long and his second date will show up early.<\/p>\n

I worried that we were going to show up at the restaurant and have my Mom sniff the air and cry, “You smell like another mother! Did she read you a story and then tuck you in? I bet she did! I bet she gave you milk and cookies. You HUSSIES.”\u00a0 And then I’d have to tell my Mom that she was the only Mom for me and that other Mom means nothing, NOTHING! She may have given birth to Kristian, but you’re the only Mom who’s given birth to me<\/em>. That scarf really brings out the blue in your eyes. Have you lost weight? Your hair looks so shiny. Thank you for breast-feeding me for as long as you did, it made me really smart.<\/p>\n

Actually, I told my Mom that we were having lunch with Kristian’s family and she said that sounded really nice.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, I like to pretend that I’m crazy for the amusement of you all.<\/p>\n

I did <\/em>worry that we’d get short on time and have to give Kristian’s Mom the bum’s rush. It’s not exactly\u00a0 polite to do that to the woman who gave you life. Or so I’m told.<\/p>\n

It turns out, I didn’t really need to worry about anything.<\/p>\n

(This is a recurring theme in my life.)<\/p>\n

The plans with Kristian’s family got postponed, so we settled for stopping by his parents’ house with some chocolates and licorice. We still managed to get to the restaurant\u00a0 before my Mom, who considers being 5 minutes early to be horribly and embarrassingly late. A delicious Indian dinner was had by all.<\/p>\n

All in all, it was a lovely day. Even if the animals never brought me breakfast in bed. Little ingrates.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Happy Mothers’ Day, everyone! Apparently, once you get engaged, Mothers’ Day becomes the de facto occasion for everyone to ask you when you’re going to have some kids, already. As…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[8,30,34,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1999","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family","category-gracie","category-kristian","category-random"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5yggS-wf","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1999","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1999"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1999\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2002,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1999\/revisions\/2002"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1999"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1999"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1999"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}