{"id":163,"date":"2007-03-19T20:40:43","date_gmt":"2007-03-20T01:40:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/?p=163"},"modified":"2007-03-19T20:43:18","modified_gmt":"2007-03-20T01:43:18","slug":"rubber-ducky1-hope-0","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/rubber-ducky1-hope-0\/","title":{"rendered":"Rubber Ducky:1 Hope: 0"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I woke up at 8:15 this morning. By 8:20, I had my laptop open and was checking email. What can I say? I&#8217;m a geek. Please don&#8217;t judge me. I noticed an email with details about the training that I&#8217;m taking this week. There was an attachment with details. I realized that I never read it, so I opened it.<\/p>\n<p>*Hope opens attachment*<\/p>\n<p>*Hope reads the first line*<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Training will begin at 8:30am on Monday, March 19th.<\/p>\n<p>*Hope looks at the time&#8230; 8:22*<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Shit! Fuck! Shitfuck!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I somehow managed to make it to the class, only five minutes late. That ten minute walk to work really is a life-saver. Anyways, all of this a really roundabout way of saying that I found myself, sometime around 9 o&#8217;clock tonight, realizing that I just might have neglected to put on deodorant this morning. <\/p>\n<p>I <i>definitely<\/i> did not take a shower.<\/p>\n<p>A shower was of the utmost importance. So, I turned up the hot water and prepared to de-stinkify myself. I noticed that one of our rubber duckies was sitting in the tub. A rubber duck that, appropriately enough, is shaped like a little red devil. I bent down to return the naughty water fowl to its rightful place on the shelf next to the tub. <\/p>\n<p>*Smack!*<\/p>\n<p>That is the sounds of my head hitting the windowsill. (Yes, we have a window next to our shower.) (Yes, we have a very thick shade that keeps people from seeing me naked, with shampoo in my eyes.) The clever mallard had lured me into a trap! He had distracted me with his misplacedness and I took the bait and proceeded to make a rather large dent in my forehead. Kristian assures me that my forehead looks fine, there are no dents, lumps, bumps or bruises. Only a slightly red mark, which could easily have been caused by the fact that I like to crank my shower temperature up to &#8220;lava.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>That damn duck is still smirking at me.<\/p>\n<p><center><a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/hopers\/175114875\/\" title=\"Photo Sharing\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm1.static.flickr.com\/73\/175114875_d552dca72c.jpg?resize=500%2C333\" width=\"500\" height=\"333\" alt=\"IMG_6908.jpg\" \/><\/a><br \/>\nSmirk now devil ducky&#8230; but your time will come<\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I woke up at 8:15 this morning. By 8:20, I had my laptop open and was checking email. What can I say? I&#8217;m a geek. Please don&#8217;t judge me. I&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-163","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-grumble","category-random"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5yggS-2D","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/163","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=163"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/163\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=163"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=163"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=163"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}