They guy down the street from us has a Harley. A really loud one. Although, let’s be honest here, is there any other kind?<\/p>\n
I’ve been known to blast some loud punk music in my time (confidential to anyone I ever lived with in college: I’m sorry. So very, very sorry), so I can sortof understand his decision to drive a motorcycle that makes a chain-saw sound like an ocean breeze. I don’t have to find it pleasant, but I can somewhat understand.<\/p>\n
What I can’t understand is why he chooses to ride his bike at four in the flipping morning<\/em>. On a weeknight.<\/p>\n Perhaps he is an insomniac and wants to rest of us to join him in his sleeplessness. Perhaps he thinks that his bike would break all sorts of noise ordinances and wants to take it out when there are fewer cops around. I’d wonder if he was a vampire, but I saw him in the daylight today and he neither burst into flames nor into sparkles, and that pretty much covers all of the possible vampire scenarios.<\/p>\n Maybe he does it just to torture me.<\/p>\n And Kristian.<\/p>\n But mostly me.<\/p>\n The best part is that his bike apparently takes ten minutes to warm up, so I get to here it rumbling along for a good ten to fifteen minutes at four in the morning. By the time he’s finally driven off, I’ve exhausted my stock of swear words (in both English and<\/em> foreign languages) and my brain has pretty much checked out. I’m like a sleep-deprived, irate zombie.<\/p>\n Part of me wants to walk down to his house and say, “You know, I think you should get that bike of yours checked out. It seems to take an awfully long time to warm up. And it’s on the loud side. In fact, we can hear it clear as day from four houses away. In our bedroom. At FOUR IN THE FUCKING MORNING.” And then I would hit him with a rolled up newspaper and say, “NO!”<\/p>\n Although, corporal punishment as training method is pretty pass\u00e9. I suppose that I’d have to use a clicker with him.<\/p>\n Or maybe I could just kick over his bike. Or pay someone to steal it. He does seem to leave it sitting in front of his house an awful lot of the time.<\/p>\n Or, I could write a scathing blog post about him for all of the internets to see.<\/p>\n That’ll learn him but good<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" They guy down the street from us has a Harley. A really loud one. Although, let’s be honest here, is there any other kind? I’ve been known to blast some…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3,29,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1514","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-grumble","category-house-stuff","category-random"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5yggS-oq","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1514","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1514"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1514\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1515,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1514\/revisions\/1515"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1514"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1514"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1514"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}