{"id":1151,"date":"2009-03-04T22:08:02","date_gmt":"2009-03-05T03:08:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/?p=1151"},"modified":"2009-03-04T22:08:02","modified_gmt":"2009-03-05T03:08:02","slug":"how-to-get-yourself-a-brand-spanking-new-iphone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/how-to-get-yourself-a-brand-spanking-new-iphone\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Get Yourself a Brand Spanking New iPhone"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Phase 1: Leave your old phone behind at a restaurant and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/?p=705\">have one of the servers steal it<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Phase 2: Wait two months<\/p>\n<p>Phase 3: #$%!@%#!$!<\/p>\n<p>Phase 4: Profit!<\/p>\n<p>At long last, I have my precious. Oh, and it is so shiny. Sixteen gigabytes of pure iPhone awesomeness.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Of course, now I&#8217;m terrified to take it anywhere, lest I have another idiot moment and leave it somewhere. Do they make some sort of iPhone accessory that allows you to glue it to your forehead?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Phase 1: Leave your old phone behind at a restaurant and have one of the servers steal it.\u00a0 Phase 2: Wait two months Phase 3: #$%!@%#!$! Phase 4: Profit! At&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[17,19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1151","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-geeky-girl","category-the-great-blog-off"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5yggS-iz","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1151","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1151"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1151\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1152,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1151\/revisions\/1152"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1151"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1151"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hoperoth.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1151"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}